Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Please remove your hats, bow your heads, and say a final prayer for... my lost earrings.
I hate losing earrings. And when I say "earrings," I don't mean that I lost a pair. I don't lose whole pairs. I just lose one of them. Which sucks. Because there is still that other earring hanging around reminding you of your loss. And you can't throw it away because as soon as you do, that lost one will for sure turn up and you'll kick yourself.
I've lost one of several pairs lately and it's making me depressed. It's mostly my fault. Sort of. I have a tendency to take them out as I lie down to sleep and I put them on my bedside table instead of hanging them back up on my jewelry tree. My responsibility for their loss stops there, though. The rest is all SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT. Like usual.
I think in this case either there is a mischievous sprite that runs around stealing earrings. (Just one earring, though. 'Cause that's way more mischievous). Or my cat fancies herself a girly-girl now and then and steals them when I'm not looking to wear on her collar. My son does like to hang my earrings from the tops of his ears and pretend he's.....well, that's a story for another day. Actually, I think what is most likely is that there is a black hole in the space between my bed and my bedside table. So when one earring accidentally gets nudged off, it is instantly transported to that really dark spot in the sky from which no light or earrings can return.
Truly tragic. I know. I hope you will join me in mourning their loss.
(In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to the fund set up for the surviving earrings and their families. Zion's bank. Account "Useless Piece of Crap Jewelry Survivors."
Daily Weight Loss: 0.4 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 5 1/2 lbs