Weekend Writing Project

I've been writing a lot of short, shallow, get-me-through-the-week-until-I-have-time-to-write-a-decent-post posts this week. But I've had a couple of topics on my mind to do a more lengthy and/or entertaining post. I know what you're thinking: More entertaining, less lengthy. Well, I guess we'll see how that works out. At any rate, I thought I'd give you the chance to "choose your own adventure" so to speak. Like Dragon's Lair, only way more verbose.

Option 1: The Tale of the Mysterious Monkey Poo

Option 2: How I Almost Got Sold Into Black Market Slavery in Thailand

Both true stories. Take your pick, and I'll have a nice scintillating, loquacious-ish story for you on Monday.

Bookworm or techgeek?

Would you read using a Kindle? Why or why not?

Junkie

Like everyone with his affliction, he is so consumed that his only option is to hide himself away so that others cannot see the lengths he will go to to get his fix. His embarrassment and shame forces him to conceal himself in dark corners. He can't get enough. It's all he can think about, day and night. He is an addict.






(That's an iPhone, in case you can't see it well enough.)

And That's Why They Call It "Fall"

I know it looks like we haven't raked our yard in a month, but except for the tiny hump of leaves in the middle of picture 2, this all took place in ONE night.








That's just how my ash trees roll.


.

101 Ways To Ignore Your Responsibilities

# 24

Go to Amazon to buy a car charger for your new iPhone. Decided it will be more economical to get a charger/faceplate/screen protector combo. After looking through roughly 900 options, decide you should check ebay for a better deal before purchasing. 5 1/2 hours later, you will have a new car charger, 3 screen protectors, hard faceplate, soft faceplate, home charger, retractable USB cable, stylus (Why? Cause it was included!) and car holster for your iPhone. All for the bargain price of $8.99!

AND you will have sucessfully avoided all famililial responsibilities for the better part of a day. Win-win!

You're welcome.







.

(High Sugar) Food For Thought

My husband emailed me this and I just couldn't help but pass it on. Some of it is actually quite startling.



Sugar Cube Math. Each cube is a teaspoonful.






































So what they're saying is, I should cut out my Cinnabon and McFlurry breakfast? SONOFA.



.

Where's Oscar When You Need Him?

Guess what? It's time for a good old rant! Haven't had one in a while. But today I feel moved and motivated to let my opinions fly.

Today's subject? The Trash Man.

The Scenario: Yesterday was trash day. I took the trash out in the morning, like I always do. A couple hours later, I came home from running errands and noticed that my trash can was tipped over. It was a windy day, so it must have blown backwards. As I straightened it up, I saw that it was still full, so I left it on the curb. Later that day I noticed that most of the cans on the street had been pulled back in. I went to get mine....still full.

So I called Allied Waste today to tell them that my can had been skipped. She had no idea why this would be. Then I asked about the tipped can. If it was tipped, would the trash man just skip it? Oh yes, she said. That was policy. The trash man was not allowed to get out of the truck and straighten it up. Too dangerous.

TOO DANGEROUS? For the last hundred years since trash trucks have been around, the trash man got OUT of the truck, picked up the heavy trash can with his bare hands, and heaved the contents into the truck. But now, in this age of technology and scientific sophistication, it's now too dangerous for a man to step out of his truck and straighten the can so the truck's mechanical arm can pick it up??? Yeah. Sure. I mean, he might trip on his shoelace and fall under the wheels of the truck and the truck might go into gear by itself and drive forward by itself and run him over. OR the man might accidentally fall INTO the trash can as he's straightening it, and the truck might somehow pick the can up while the man is inside and dump him into the truck's belly. Or, heaven forbid, the trash man might sprain his pinkie while straightening the trash can. We can't have that, now can we? Yes, I see as I examine the situation that this really is a highly dangerous job. The trash man is much better off staying in the safety of his cab he isn't at risk for doing serious bodily damage.

Good thinking, Allied Waste. Thanks for saving the lives of countless trash men.


(I know I probably have much too high of expectations for someone who picks up trash for a living, but seriously, I've never seen such low standards for a public service job. EVER.)

There, now I feel better.