Sunday, March 7, 2010

Confessions

1) That tan I came back from St. Thomas with? I got it before I left. Fake baking. 'Cause I hate tan lines.

2) I cannot push "mark all as read." I just. can't. do it. (Sorry about the periods, Jennie).

3) I also can't not comment. I might be able to skip a post, but if I read it, I have to comment. MUST. COMMENT. Do you hear me people???? It's an illness.

4) It bugs me that in Utah every dinner is pot luck. Where I come from, the swanky high-class city of Detroit, you invite someone to dinner and you actually MAKE THE WHOLE DINNER. I do appreciate offers from people to bring dessert or a salad or rolls. But really, when I invite you over, I fully intend to actually cook.

5) I think I'm a better driver than everyone else. Because, really, I am.

6) There is nothing I love better than a good, loud pop-belch (those being caused by quickly drinking pop). However, it is counter-productive to the teaching of manners to small children. (Is it okay to add a caveat such as, "Kids, it's bad to belch in public, UNLESS you've had more than 6 ounces of pop in less than one minute. Then it's better to let it rip." ?)

7) Sometimes I like to spell words the British way, with "our" instead of "or." Like colour. Or labour. Or Amour. Wait, that's French. Anyway, I like to see who notices and who tells me that it's wrong and who starts copying me later. I mean latour.

8) I am impatient. I realize sometimes that I am impatient and I feel like I should be more patient. But I seriously just hate waiting. I want more patience RIGHT NOW!!!

9) I wore a bikini in St.Thomas. I have no business wearing a bikini with this body. NONE. But I wore it anyway. 'Cause I was formerly in denial about how I looked in a bikini. But four hundred and fifty-seven group beach pictures later... not so much.

10) I am not crafty. I am not, have never been, and never will be crafty. The only place I have in my life for crafts are those which can be eaten or those which can be rubbed on one's body for cleaning purposes. I will never be the first to blog about a cute seasonal decoration I made up, or show off an expertly photographed hand-made fashion accessory, or invent a super trendy craft. Unless that craft combines things that can be eaten and rubbed on one's body for cleaning purposes at the same time. 'Cause I think eating and showering simultaneously could really catch on. Otherwise, I'm out. (But I still reserve my right to feel extremely guilty for not being crafty and not doing adorable seasonal things for my kids and photographing them with a tripod and umbrella light. It's my right as a woman to feel guilt, OK?!?)

11) I secretly always look behind me when I pull out of a super awesome parking spot, just to see if anyone else pulls in right behind me. That way I can share in the joy I know that they are feeling when they think, "I can't believe I got such a sweet spot!"


Do you have any confessions you want to share?

17 comments:

jennie w. said...

#1. I do the parking lot thing too! Like I expect the person do get out of their car and jump for joy.

#2. I thoroughly enjoyed "Dear John", but I thoroughly hated "The Notebook".

#3. I think sweets belong at every meal.

The Boob Nazi said...

I fake and bake before every vacation too. I'm going to get cancer and die.

Kristina P. said...

I have started doing entire dinners on my own. My friends don't know what to make of it. I think people have this need to contribute and help out.

Chuck said...

1. I asked if I should bring a salad and I should know better cause I'm a Michigander.

Mrs. Organic said...

So no swimsuit would cover the part of my bod that has no business on a beach, so I just might wear a bikini anyway - my belly button needs sun too.

The dinner thing? I rock the main dish and dessert but side dishes are not my forte.

And I secretly like the burny smell after fake-baking especially if I used a good lotion.

Sarah said...

I am so with you on the pot luck thing. What is wrong with making an entire meal? I have no problem if someone wants to bring dessert though.

Lyns said...

I feel guilty NOT bringing something when invited to a person's for dinner BUT I get cranky when people feel the need to contribute when I invite them over...hypocritical? Yes. But at least you know no matter what you will have KILLER rolls....

veronica said...

I've always appreciated and really good belch.

MiaKatia said...

I am not crafty either, but I do a good copy cat on occasion.

I have never worn a bikini. I would die, DIE of embarrassment. I am completely body shy.

I like to spell theater theatre. That is the way real thespians do it :)

I rarely bother with trying to get a sweet parking spot. My husband always gets them without trying.

tiburon said...

I have never had a potluck at someones house before. That is cuckoo...

Although we don't get invited to dinner all that often ...

I am dying to hear more about your trip!

Vanessa said...

Potluck? Well that is just crazy talk.

Soul-Fusion said...

I'm impressed that you comment so much. I used to be a good commenter and then fell out of the habit. You've inspired me to jump back in.

And I too made the mistake of thinking I could wear a bikini after years of not. Only I was smart enough to avoid all cameras so I could remain delusional :)

L. said...

I WANT TO SEE THE BIKINI PICTURES!!!

I personally think you are not crafty because you don't WANT to be crafty. (My mother and sister are crafty, so I'll show THEM by NEVER competing!) You've sewn a decent dress and pants in your time, Darlin'. And your cup-cakes -- oh yeah... You can eat those.

I do the same parking thing, feeling like I am giving the waiting person a precious gift.

Tiffany said...

I loved these. I agree, I intend to make the meal when I invite someone over.

And my confession? That I wish I had worn a bikini when I could have! Now, not so much!

Lia said...

I would like to confess that I am addicted to your blog, that I can not resist commenting on said blog and that I love the way you spell things differently over the pond to us, it makes things more interesting.
I'd also like to confess that I love your funny little comments on my blog

Much love
Lia
xx

M-Cat said...

HATE crafting. Prefer buying cute stuff.

Cook Family said...

I completely agree with #4, Thank You!!!