So here's where it might get a little disturbing for some of you...
I LOVE GOING UNDER ANESTHESIA.
Yes, I'm for real.
No, I'm not sure why. I'm not sure I can even explain it to myself. I just know that I look forward to it every time I know I'm going to go under.
Maybe it's because I really love sleeping so much, and general anesthesia is the deepest, darkest, most velvety sleep you can ever get.
Maybe some twisted part of me likes the rush, the flirtation with death, allowing myself to be made unconscious and waiting to see if I come out again.
Maybe it's because for 5 or 6 hours I get to do absolutely nothing. And have people wait on me hand and foot. To say "I'm thirsty" and have someone bring me some water. And to say, "I want juice" and to have someone take the water away and bring me an array of juices. Or to say "I'm cold" and have someone bring me a freshly baked blanket. (Yeah, that could be it right there. The piping hot blankets are pretty freaking amazing.)
Maybe it's knowing that for half of a day there will be no diapers, no spills, no dirt, no sippy cups, no whining and screaming (except my own, of course, should I feel so inclined) and no one will ask anything more difficult of me than to try to open my eyes now and then.
Whatever it is--I know it must be wrong--but I just can't help but love when they put that mask on my face and say, "Breathe deep. I'm going to give you something to relax..."