Dear Mrs. Rose,
I'd like to apologize in advance for the fact that Daphne will spend half of today glued to the cieling. I'd like to send my sincerest regrets for any furniture or other children who get broken. Please forgive her if she talks so fast it seems she is speaking in tongues. And when there is a circular path worn in the carpet around her chair, I will pay for it to be fixed, of course.
You see, when I sent her to the kitchen today with permission to get a drink of juice, I couldn't have foreseen that she would find it easier to take a drink from my bottle of Crystal Light Energy on the counter (with 120 gms of caffeine). And I could never have guessed that she could consume half of it in the 8 seconds she was in the kitchen. But I clearly underestimated both her thirst and her resourcefulness.
So please, forgive her for what will undoubtedly be her worst behaved day ever. 60 grams of caffiene and a 30 lb girl isn't the best combination.