Monday, April 19, 2010

Not Good Dinner Conversation

If you're faint of heart or have just eaten Indian food, do not read on.


I had the stomach flu today. Or maybe food poisoning. It started last night after dinner. I didn't feel good. I thought I had over-eaten. I had a bad stomach ache that lasted into the night. Then it turned into diarrhea. Not the kind you're thinking of. No, this was the kind where you instantly know you have 5 seconds to get to the bathroom or things will end badly. Very badly. And then when you do go, there is no sound difference between #1 and #2. Pure liquification of the intestinal tract.

This went on all night. About every 2o minutes. Sometimes as soon as I would stand up to pull my jammies up, I'd have to sit down again.

It was bad.

I took Pepto. Then I took Immodium. Then I took Advil. Then I laid back down for the 800th time and waited to die.

This morning things were no better. In fact, they were worse. I added a headache, lack of sleep, and awake children to the mix. Big Daddy had his first day back from vacation ahead of him at work and couldn't skip out. My mother was in Texas. My Mother in law had an injured arm. I was on my own. And the immodium hadn't kicked in.

I stayed in bed as much as possible, TVs, iPhones, and computers up and running in every room in the hopes of keeping the children occupied. Still, they found reasons to desperately need me every 10 minutes.

Finally, by lunch time, they were fed, put down to nap/quiet time and the immodium seemed to be working. I finally got some sleep.


24 hours later, I'm better now. Not as weak, not as sickly, not as poopy.

And the upside? Down a pound and a half. There is always a silver lining to crazy diarrhea.

12 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

Man, I'm sorry! I hate being sick. HATE HATE HATE.

jennie w. said...

I've had that happen. It's so awful. Especially when you're by yourself. And every time you tell someone this story they will say, "why didn't you call me!"

But great about the pound and a half!

Tiffany said...

You know what's wrong with me? When I started reading this, I thought, "Yeah, but you probably lost some more weight!"

I'm always sort of thrilled when I have diarrhea.

Glad you're feeling better. Really.

bel said...

Oh EW! I'm glad it was short-lived and you're feeling better!!

just call me jo said...

Having kids home and all that running out of you brings back really bad memories. There's nothing worse. Unless you have to throw up in the trash can while sitting on the toilet. At least you lost weight. That's the "up side" now, isn't it!! There isn't always an up side. ;o)

Kristina P. said...

Yay for the diarrhea weight loss plan!

Jen said...

Oh man, that stinks. I am glad you are feeling all better. If I were still in Utah I would have taken your kids for the day.

Mrs. Organic said...

Ugh. I have a love/hate thing with the Diarrhea Fairy. Glad you're feeling better.

MiaKatia said...

Oh man! Honestly not even the 1.5 weight loss is enough to make me appreciate the big D. Glad you are feeling a little better. Hopefully no one else gets it.

Charlie said...

I am SO sorry. That blows.

But this post was amazingly funny to read. I literally LOLed. In a library. Awkward.

alex dumas said...

Sounds more like food poisoning to me.

Christian said...

Fascinating.