Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It's All In The Genes

I'm a curvy girl. I inherited especially generous hips. And I don't mean fat (although there is that too). I mean bone. My hip bones are just wider than the average person. Then they have been added upon with lovely fat pads that are the very last thing to go when I lose weight. And before you start telling me I'm up in the night, I have done REAL SCIENCE to back this statement up. For example, I have several friends weighing 20-30 lbs more than me, and they all wear the same size of pants as me. And I have a few friends who weight about the same as me, but they wear 2 sizes smaller pants. Because they all have normal hips. And I have BIG hips. See? It's a proven FACT.

I've learned, over the years, to dress to my shape. I wear shirts that end in just the right spot on my hips to distract the eye. I wear pants with the pockets in just the right spot to minimize the expanse. I wear skirts of a certain shape to draw the eye to my better parts. And most importantly, I wear jeans that create the illusion of thinness where there is none. I.E. the flare leg or wide leg.

Now, if you look around right now, you'll notice that skinny jeans are "in." But as far as I have seen, no one looks good in skinny jeans, not even skinny 13 year old girls. (I don't know WHAT we were thinking in the 80's trying to pull off that look). And those of us with a decidedly more pear shape....well, it's just laughable. Even boot-cut doesn't quite do the job. It has to be a wider leg than hip to create the illusion that the hip is small.

So I live in a constant state of panic as the stores I've shopped at for my jeans and pants slowly discontinue their flare-leg styles and replace them with skinny jeans and boot legs. Heaven help me if they stop making flare-legs altogether. I might have to wear skirts all year long!!! Or, my mom will get her wish: I will finally have to learn to thread a bobbin.


Chelsea said...

I am sooo with you on this one. Even at my absolute string bean skinniest the smallest I've ever worn was a size 6 - and it's all in the hips. I've actually found most guys I've dated like it, even though the average model's body suggests otherwise. Skinny (or "tapered" as we used to call them back in the day) jeans on big hips are just disastrous. No no no no.

Kristina P. said...

I actually do wear skirts all year long. In fact, when I moved locations last summer, one of the supervisors asked my supervisor if I always wore skirts.

I am pear shaped too, and I know what works and what doesn't. I haven't bought a pair of jeans in a long time. I realized that my go to jeans are too loose now, since I've lost about 15 pounds.

I just bought three dresses yesterday, and it took me trying on 9 dresses to find the ones that worked.

Anonymous said...

Just popping in from Teachins blog. Do you ever blog about anything other than your weight or body or diet or looks?

Alyssa said...

my sister and I and our booty-licious, curvy-hipped selves swear by Joe's Jeans - specifically the Honey which "is designed for the voluptuous woman with a smaller waist and luscious booty". I don't have the smallest waist (more like no real waist) but these jeans are always worth the price for me!
Also, I don't mind skinny jeans as long as I'm wearing a top that hits the right sweet spot that minimizes the thigh!

Mrs. O said...

I have the hippage too and the most frustrating thing is that by the time I get a size that will fit my generous behind, the waist gaps out in the back by a couple inches. I have found some less expensive jeans (still pricey, but not mom jeans) that work - LA Idol ones. I only wear skinny jeans with a tunic length top.

Mia said...

I love the pear shape! My brother did this essay once on this magical waist to hip ratio (I could google it but I am too lazy). And guys do love the wider hips with the smaller waist. After I read that I learned to love my hips. Which are like yours and wide in the bones to begin with and then have a little luscious padding on top :) I can't get on the skinny jean band wagon. I just don't think I would like them on me, not that I have tried.

Hildie said...

Hey Anonymous, a good rule of thumb about commenting is if you don't have the guts to put your name on a comment, then you shouldn't post it.

Arianne's blog must seem totally superficial compared to all of those other bloggers who are so deep talking about weighty matters like decorating and cooking and crafts. I mean, how important is someone's appearance when there are matters like what kind of party invitations their two-year-old should have.

Hildie said...

P.S. Skinny jeans are of the devil.

Anonymous said...

*Put on her purple skinny jeans before commenting* :D

I used to hate skinny jeans too. I've converted. But only to purple ones, lol. (Actually, my friend has teal and I love them.)

Generally, though, I like flared leg. I remember shopping for jeans and not being able to find anything that wasn't boot cut. Drove me nuts.

Erica said...

i just noticed your link for me is way outdated.

I'm here now: http://threestarsphotography.shutterfly.com/

Omgirl said...

Dear Anonymous,

Yes. I post about poop quite a lot too. Sorry you missed those posts. Here are some links so you can get caught up:



Just SO said...

I can't stand skinny jeans. Boot cut works pretty well for me but I hope they keep the flared leg around as well.

kado! said...

I look hot in skinny jeans. ;)

(it's all in the heel you wear with them, flats do no ones butt any good...I need the extra lift!)

I have some cute flare jeans still but they just seem like too much extra fabric to wear right now in todays fashion...I'm keeping them though, they'll come back in a couple years!