My Neuroses

For the most part, I consider myself a normal, red-blooded American. Fairly free of hang-ups, issues, excessive baggage, mental oddities, and obsessive compulsive tendencies. In general, I like my house clean. Generally. Like in the bathrooms and kitchen. Of course, if you're talking about my bedside table, the top drawer in the kitchen desk, or that nifty little pocket on my car door, then I lean more towards clutter and mayhem. But otherwise, I'm pretty clean. In a normal, suburban American way. Normal. Not obsessive. But there a couple of areas that I may be considered just a little neurotic about.

1) When I stack up the kids' rainbow colored Ikea plates in the cupboard, no same colored plates can touch. In fact, the same-colored plates need to be at least 3 away from each other. Even if this means rearranging things each time I empty the dishwasher. But that's not that strange, right? I mean, everyone likes thier rainbow colored plasticware arranged in the proper order of Roy G. Biv. Right?

2) When folding paper in half, I really feel like one should smooth the crease between their fingernails. Don't leave that crease large and sloppy. Flatten it down to a nice, sharp point. Ahhhh...can't you feel your breath regulate just thinking about nice flat paper creases?

3) The toilet paper has to come off the roll away from the wall, not close to the wall. This one really bugs me. I can't say why. But if I go to someone's house and their toilet paper is hanging the wrong way, I will secretly take it off the holder and turn it around. Maybe you've noticed your toilet paper turned around after I've been to your house? No? Well of course you haven't. If you cared that much about your toilet paper you'd have put it on the RIGHT way to begin with.

4) My kids' clothing is put away in their drawers in packets. I take a shirt and lay it flat. Then I lay the matching pants (yes, each shirt has a specific pair of pants. No mixing and matching allowed) sideways across the shoulders of the shirt. Then I fold the bottom of the shirt over the pants, turn the whole thing over, and wrap the sleeves around the back. It makes a nice, neat packet. Then the packets all go in the drawer. So when it's time to get them dressed, there is no hunting around for matching outfits, no wondering why there are 6 pairs of pants and no tops in their drawers. Everything goes into and out of the washer and dryer together. And if something should get lost from it's outfit-mate somehow, it goes in a special cupboard until its mate is found. But that's not neurotic, right? It's just being organized!

5) Last but not least, when I eat, I always have to eat the things I like best last. Like if I'm eating Skittles, I eat the yellow and orange ones first, then the red ones, then the green ones, then the purple ones last. They're my favorite. With Starbursts, I eat the yellow and orange ones first, then the pink ones, and the red ones are last. I like both red and pink, but red usually wins out. When I eat dinner, whatever thing on the plate I like best has to be eaten last. So I'll rotate through: one bite of salad (least favorite), one bite of veggies/fruit (next to least favorite), a bite of rice/noodles/potatoes next, then usually a bite of the meat/main entre last. And then I'll go through the whole thing over again until I'm done with the parts I don't like. Then my last few bites will alternate between the second favorite and favorite food. My last bite will always be my favorite food. I just want to end on the best note. But again, that's not as much neurotic as efficient, don't you think? I'm pretty sure everyone does it this way, actually.


So....are you neurotic organized and creative, too? Do tell.