Monday, September 22, 2008

Poser




And while I'm on the subject of being a poser, I have to admit to being a poser. On one certain topic: exercise. And only with one certain audience: those who exercise a lot and love it. Who are these freaks? You know who they are. They are the ones that were born loving to do cardio 'til they drop. They are the ones whose best look is a sports bra and short shorts with a light mist of sweat tinging their firm thighs. They are the ones who say, "Oh, I just feel so antsy if I don't get out and run for at least two hours a day." And they are the ones who never miss a step in aerobics class or stop to take a drink (while I whirl around all dizzy, nearly throwing up as I reach for my water for the 20th time). Well, because of them, I have to pretend that I like exercise too. They make me pretend I've pulled a muscle when I get off the tread mill after only 7 minutes. They make me smile and pretend I'm not going to pass out when I open the door for us to leave the gym. And worst, they make me pretend that I hate carbs and love salad, which is such a betrayal to my inner self and everything I believe in. Why can't they just despise exercise like the rest of us? Whenever I work out next to one of these people (just before I fall off the back of the stair stepper) I just want to scream, "Go sit on the couch and eat some pie, would you???"

6 comments:

Tiburon said...

Yes I am a freak. No I will not eat pie. :)

André said...

Those people are mutants. I just don't care what they think. Some of the insensitivity is probably my inner rebel wanting to piss them off, but more than anything I just want to be me, not someone else. Jen wouldn't mind me having some desire to fit in socially so she could have more friends. The personality quiz said I was neurotic...

Christie said...

I like exercise and pie. What does that make me? (in fact, pie sounds so freakin' good right now that I may just kill someone to get some) Superfreak? :)

Mindi said...

i love that tib commented--i was just reading the post, thinking, "oh yeah. that is SO tib." and here she is.

i am so 'over' exercise right now. but pretty soon it's gonna bite me in my ginormous arss....

jennie w. said...

I only wish I could be an exercise poser. There is no way I could ever pass for a fit person, though.

alex dumas said...

What do you wish you could say to the overweight people sitting in Coldstone with their massive mountain of ice cream hash?