A Note To Jane

I just finished reading Persuasion, by Jane Austin. First time reading this, though I've read a couple of other Austin books. I have to say, I liked it. It has the classic twists and unexpected turns of an Austin book, the proper and likable characters as well as the socially awkward characters and embarrassing relations that remind me all too much of people I know. It has a nice happy ending. It was a good read. But I do have a few comments for Jane:


1) When you're writing a book of a fictional nature, feel free to choose from a wide variety of available names. You're not limited to using only one or two names for all the males in the story. In fact, it can be kind of confusing to have not two, but THREE characters in the story with the same first name. I know Charles is a nice name, but expand your repertoire just a bit.

2) Spellcheck, Honey! "Viranda," "pannel," "teaze," and "crape?" Come on. EVERYONE knows how to spell those words!

3) If you're going to spend pages talking about obsolete modes of transportation like barouches, curricles, chairs, chaises, gigs, and coaches, please have the courtesy to include pictures! Jeez.

4) You should probably not make up words. Unexeptionable? Michealmas? (Everyone knows it CHRISTmas!) Grappler? Worsting? Blains? I know you're trying to show how creative you are. But please, just use REAL words.

I did learn a few useful things though. For example:

A) "Underhung": having a projecting lower jaw. I am SO going to implement that in my vocabulary. I know a lot of people I could describe with this handy new word!

B) "Brawn": Don't confuse this with having muscle or with the paper towel brand. No, this is a tasty dish made from minced and molded meat from a pig's head. YUM! I know what's for dinner tonight!

C) "The gapes" : Fits of yawning. I'm totally going to get this phrase reintroduced into the common vernacular. I could have used it 5 or 6 times at church last Sunday alone!

So, Jane, there you go. A few bits of constructive criticism and a few complements just to keep you from getting too depressed and overanalizing your writing style. But I do hope you'll implement some of these things in your next book. Good luck!






Please know that I actually love Jane Austen. This post was totally written tongue-in-cheek. I swear if I get any comments informing me that blains is really a word, I will flip.