Thursday, June 26, 2008

Grammar Police

Hi Ladys
Does anyone know who I can call, because I called fed ex because they have not called me back and I wanted to know about my package so I asked them if there is anyway i can request for a signature for all of my packages and they advised me if the shipper does not request it at the time of shipment they automatically leave it at the door step. So if anyone has a # I can call to see if i can apply a signature request for all of my package's please let me know. thanks

That is a direct copy and paste from a "professional" forum I belong to for my at-home business. It contains some of my all time favorite (or, more appropriately, least favorite) grammar mistakes. Let me first give a disclaimer: I'm not perfect. I do make errors. But most of them are from typing fast and being too lazy to go back and fix them. Things like "teh" (the) or failing to capitalize the beginning of a sentence (which is due to my weak pinky. I'm working it out.) Plus, I'm a naturally bad speller and have had to teach myself painstakingly, word by word, to spell correctly. I still never know if words end in "ent" or "ant." But spelling and grammar are not tied together. They actually access completely different parts of the brain. (That's my excuse for being a bad speller while being a grammar Nazi.) So maybe I shouldn't judge anyone else for their grammar mistakes. But I do. Because I have pet peeves when it comes to grammar. It's mostly from grading high school homework for 6 years and being sooooo sick of seeing the same common mistakes that you learned the rule for in THIRD GRADE. So it really stands out to me coming from adults or in published ads and such. So here are a few at the top of my list:

#1) By far, my biggest pet peeve is the 's to create a plural word. Plurals are created using an s or es or ies, not an apostrophe. Cats. Monkeys. Skies. Basses. Not pie's and mom's.

#2) On a similar note, ending certain y words with an s that should be changed to an ies in the plural, like ladys. (Incidentally, the rules is: If a word ends in a vowel + a 'y', just add s. Like keys or bays. Otherwise change the 'y' to an ies).

#3) Good and well. You don't talk good or write good if you use "good" with a verb. Use "well" with a verb and "good" with a noun. Good work.

#4) You don't feel "badly" unless your hands aren't working when you try to touch something. You feel bad. It's an adjective describing yourself. "Badly" is an adverb stating that the action you're doing isn't being done very well. (Ha, see how I threw in that "well?" Two for the price of one!)

#5) She and I. I remember the first time someone told me not to say "her and me." And that person, my mother, mistakenly believed that you never say "her and me." According to her, you always say "she and I" because "she and I is proper." Well, that's not entirely true. I realize I'm about to get a little technical on you, but bear with me. When pronouns are the subject of the sentence (i.e. doing the action) you use "she, he, I, we." When they are the object, or receiving the action, you use "her, me, him, and us." Here is an example: "She and I are way too anal about our grammar." And "I am sick of my friend correcting her and me." I know it sounds funny, but it's right.

6) I also really like (don't like) misused quotation marks. Like at Jim's Family Restaurant where every menu item is in quotes, making you wonder if you really are eating bacon and eggs, or if it's some mysterious substitute called "Bacon" and "Eggs." My husband and I laugh every time we eat there, trying to decide between the "ham sandwich" and the "meatloaf."

7) And last, but not least, your going to love this one. (Did you see it?) Yes, it's the "you're" written as "your." In this same family are the their/there/they're ones, but the your/you're bugs me far worse.

Got it? Good. Now never make another grammar mistake as long as you live.

Oh, and here are some professional grammar/spelling mistakes for you to enjoy:

(Read the small print on the border of the plate)




Anonymous said...

Don't forget "its" and "it's." It's very easy to hit "F7" (if you're using Microsoft Office products) to check spelling and grammar. They've even got tools such as ieSpell that will check spelling for anything you've written on webpage forms. Ignoring grammar and spelling, just the word choice and layout of that letter you posted is annoying coming from some one who is "professional."

CaraDee said...

Yes, Miss Grammar Nazi, I am seriously your soulmate. The your/you're and the quotes and the apostrophe s's are my BIGGEST PEEVES. I can't stand'em. But I do love to see them, which means I'm still superior to them. ha

Mia said...

My grammar pet peeve is that my husband refuses to proof read all of my blog posts for grammar mistakes before I post them and look like an idiot. I wish I could still remember all of those rules. Really I need my own personal proof reader. Or I guess I could just learn the rules!

Kristine said...

I could hardly read the post that girl made. I am not perfect at grammar, but certain things do bother me. I say amen to your post sista!

Anonymous said...

Oh the unnecessary quotation marks get me every time...

Which is why I'm avid reader of this blog:

Anonymous said...

Err, what I mean to say is that they make me mad. Not that I use "them."


CoLiE-O said...

I am so scared to ever leave a comment again:) I tend to be very lazy when it comes to blogging. I figure I write enough papers during the school year requiring proper spelling and punctuation that I just let myself go. My biggest peeves are the "their, there, they're" and "your, you're". Please don't judge me :)

Erica said...


Doesn't an ' also denote possession? So "That's Mom's" would be correct? Or "Mom's Club" from Farmer Jacks?

Sara said...

I might never stop laughing, only because I'm one of those people! I don't spell or grammar well. Good thing you never corrected any of my school papers.

Omgirl said...

For anyone who is worried about being judged after seeing this post, dont' worry. A) I'm a lot more relaxed when it comes to online stuff like comments, IM'ing, etc. In a casual setting, there's reason to be lazy. I am too. it really only bugs me in professional settings or in publications. B) I'm a lot more forgiving to my friends than strangers. Never fear--I will love you even if you make lots of mistake's. Hahaha, get it?

Omgirl said...

Oh, and Erica, yes, you can use 's when it is posessive, like "I borrowed my husband's car keys." Just not when it's plural.

Chelsea said...

I've been thinking about doing a grammar pet peeves post for a while, but you pretty well covered it so I'm going to have to do a spelling one instead. :D

I'm not sure if this is grammatically incorrect or just a weird usage issue, but I HATE it when people say "The car needs washed" or "The baby's diaper needs changed." Where did the "to be" go??? Another similar one is the use of "anymore". It should always have a negative before it. "I don't like romance novels anymore," NOT "I avoid romance novels anymore."

alex dumas said...

#1 is becoming so common that people have started adding apostrophes to things just because they see them used a lot. Drives me crazy.

alex dumas said...

That's what these nifty items are for: