Friday, June 21, 2013

World War Z

Have you seen World War Z, the new zombie movie starring Brad Pitt?  I have.  If you haven't, rest assured that God loves you more than me.  But since I have, here's my review of it.:

1) I had to get a drink and go to the bathroom 3 times during the first 1/3 of the movie.  I didn't have to go to the bathroom that bad.  I mostly went to the bathroom to give my heart a chance to correct the arrhythmia caused by the movie.  The drink was for real, though.  I was completely parched from hyperventilating for 40 straight minutes.

2) Zombies aren't real.  Probably.  And until now, most of the movie premises of zombies existing have been a stretch. But in World War Z, the reason for zombies--a crazy fast strain of rabies--just put zombies into the "very likely to happen" category for me.  So despite a 2 hour long constant stream of adrenaline into my bloodstream, which caused me to collapse 10 minutes after getting home and not be able to move for 2 hours, I am glad I saw this highly relevant film.

3) In case it's not clear, I have a love/hate relationship with zombie movies.  They scare the bejeebies out of me.  Every time. I almost didn't recover from I Am Legend.  But I can't not see them.  Because, of all the scary movie premises out there--snakes, sharks, giant spiders, serial killers, aliens, dinosaurs, and ghosts--zombies are the most likely to happen, right?  So I feel like it's my duty as a human to prepare myself mentally for the time that all my neighbors contract a disease that makes them crave human flesh so I can adequately defend myself and/or run like hell and hope to get picked up by the military and put on a safe ship in the middle of the ocean.  I'm just trying to plan ahead.

So there you have it:  Brad Pitt, massive amounts of zombies, me nearly peeing my pants (oh and spilling water on the guy sitting in front of me.  Sorry about that, handsome guy on a date.  I may have jumped a little bit at that one part.), and 2 hours of fear-induced coma afterward.  In short, go see it!  Your life will no doubt depend on it in the near future.