Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Texas Roadhouse Rolls: Your Input Needed

I have a very important question for you.

Texas Roadhouse Rolls: Is it the bread or the cinnamon butter that makes them so fantastic?


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Dancing With The Stars Review - Week 2

Last night was a fun night of dancing. And yet I still can't shake the feeling that the scores are overall way lower this season than last. Last season it seemed like lots of people were getting 8's and 9's on the first and second shows, and 7's were the low scores. But this season, so far there are a LOT of 5's and 6's with 7's being considered pretty good. There have only been a very few 8's and 9's. Here's a recap in case you missed it.

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff (Quick Step) - By far my favorite dance of the evening. His Kelly green suit was awesome, her feathery dress was amazing (how can I get one of those), the Muppet Theme Song was a fun choice to dance to, and together it all made for a precise, fun, energetic number. LOVED it. And they got good scores (three 9's) for it.

Kathy Ireland & Tony Dovolani (Quick Step) - This number should have been renamed the Slow Step for them. I swear someone cranked down the tempo on the band for this one because it felt like they were moving in slow motion. That being said, it was a much better dance for her. Her feet more more precise. Her stiffness worked for her in keeping her hold. I liked it. The judges still didn't love it, but I saw major improvement.

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova (Quick Step) - Good. Not great, not bad. Just good. More personality came out. I think he looked like he was enjoying himself more. But I'm just not digging her, for some reason.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel (Tango) - I think Kelly has some natural dancing ability, but she does seem to be a slow learner when it comes to choreography. That really affected her performance this week as she only had 4 days, not 4 weeks, to get it down. It was sloppy, all over the place, missing steps...I can't say I liked it. But I still hope she hangs in there. She just has something about her that is fun to watch.

Chuck Liddel & Anna Trebunskaya (Tango) - Well, it was OK. That's all. He can do the mad/intense Tango face just fine. But I still say he's not much of a dancer. As for his partner, that dress would have been great for a cocktail party, but just too much tulle for a Tango. I wanted to see some LEGS.

Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Tango) - Oh dear. Once again, Debi, you just looked so insecure. Something was wrong--you were mad or in pain or something. It showed on your face. The dancing was shakey. I really really want to like you, but you haven't hit your stride yet.

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson (Jive) - He deserved his triple 9's. Very good, very fun, very sharp. And I LOVED the purple velvet suit.

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough (Jive) - Eh. It wasn't as impressive as her Salsa. Jive requires a lot more precision. Your good body won't carry you through on this dance. Derek sort of out-danced her, which is weird when it's the guy doing that. I didnt' love it, didn't hate it.

Louis Vito & Chelsea Hightower (Jive) - Ok, wow. MAJOR improvement. I don't know if this dance just suited him more or if he's gotten that much better in a week. But I honestly felt his first performance was painful to watch, whereas this one was fun, sharp, energetic. I give Louis the MIP (Most Improved Player) award this week.

Mark Dakascos & Lacey Schwimmer (Quick Step) - He's very athletic and sharp. He keeps up and looks good doing it. Lots of personality and showmanship. I still don't think he's dancing at his full potential, though. I look forward to watching that when it happens.

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas (Jive) - Once again, just sort of average. I am waiting for something about her to wow me. I haven't seen it yet.

Tom DeLay & Cheryl Burke (Tango) - A bit slow and mechanical. But definitely an improvement from last week. I still think he has no business being on the show. And if he doesn't get kicked off soon, it'll be all you damn Republicans' fault!

Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo (Quick Step) - She's very good. Smiley, fun, athletic. Her partner really just needs to harness all her physical capabilities and get her technique right. If she doesn't start pointing her toes soon, I'm going to scream!

Mya & Dmitri Chaplin (Jive) - Mya, Mya, Mya. You did me proud, Girl. Sassy, fun, sharp...and so much personality. You really owned that dance. I loved it. And I still say you will probably win this thing.

Ashley Hamilton

Macy Gray

Monday, September 28, 2009


I missed the anniversary of my dad's death by a few days. I didn't remember until I started catching up on my blog reading today saw that both my brother and sister had posted about it. I felt awful at first. And then I felt a little proud of myself that I've healed that much. It only took me 16 years.

As I looked at the picture of his tombstone that my brother somehow got someone back in Michigan to take, it made me laugh. My dad was always the prankster, always making everyone around him laugh. So of course his tombstone would have to have one last joke on it.

And then I started to cry. Because after 16 years, I still miss you, Dad. Like it was yesterday.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Dancing With The Stars Review - Week 1

This is where you realize how entirely pitiful your life is, when you start blogging about not just watching a show or enjoying a show, but making detailed, play by play commentary on a show, like it's real and has any relevance whatsoever to your life. Whatever. So I'm lame. If you are far more intellectual and so above television than I am, move on. And have fun with your intellectual, elitest, entertainment-free prison of a life. As for the rest of you, enjoy my review of Dancing With The Stars, Week 1....

Aaron Carter (Karina Smirnoff) - Have no idea who he is, but he seemed to have some amount of natural rhythm. I think he'll probably do OK. Plus, he has the young vote, which seemed to help Shawn Johnson quite a bit.

Kathy Ireland (Tony Dovolani) - You should be very impressed when I tell you that my dance teacher is super good friends with Tony Dovolani. Cause that makes me just 2 degrees away from being on SWTS. As for Kathy, can you say stiff? She doesn't appear to be completely without rhythm, but she sure is booooring. She would be my top girl pick to leave.

Michael Irvin (Anna Demidova) - Usually the football stars do surprisingly well. But Michael is no Emitt Smith and definitely no Jerry Rice. He does seem to have some dancing ability, but I'm not super impressed yet. On the other hand, he does have personality.

Ashley Hamilton (Edyta Slivinska) - Blech. Glad he's gone (sorry if you didn't know). My husband, on the other hand, will be very, very disappointed. Mostly because his partner was the hottest and also most scantily clad woman on television.

Kelly Osbourne (Louis Van Amstel) - The surprise of the evening, for sure. Some people you can guess that they'll do well, but I had little faith in her, even (especially) after watching the preview "package". she was all over the place in rehearsals. And then she came out and looked so good in her Viennese Waltz and Cha Cha! Her legs were superb.

Chuck Liddel (Anna Trebunskaya) - Chuck? More like upchuck. NOT impressed. Mostly his hair bugs me. And his dancing. And his face. Can you tell I'm not a fan?

Debi Mazar (Maksim Chmerkovskiy) - Poor girl. She is very insecure on the dance floor and has a long way to go. I felt bad for her cause I think they were really hard on her. But I think she has more potential than she is currently showing. I hope she makes it a few weeks cause I could see serious improvements in her future.

Donny Osmond (Kym Johnson) - Wow. I really can't believe he got such low scores. He did so much better than what they gave him credit for. Seriously. Now I don't know how his sister did so well in her season. She was no dancer. It must have been popularity. And that makes me wonder if he'll follow in her footsteps. But so far I think he's the better dancer.

Joanna Krupa (Derek Hough) - Again, who? But at least she can dance. usually the models do pretty badly on the show. But good body + good teacher + some natural talent = she might go pretty far on this show.

Louis Vito (Chelsea Hightower) - Seriously, where do they find these people? What the hell is someone no one has ever heard of, with that little dance capability, doing on a dance show??? I know they want to capture the young vote, but seriously! I hope he gets voted off fast. It was painful to watch. As painful as when I broke my arm snowboarding. Listen, Louis, I'll stay off your mountain if you stay off my dance floor.

Mark Dakascos (Lacey Schwimmer) - I feel like this season has more people I've never heard of than ever before. But at least this guy can dance. I think he will definitely be in the running to reach the semi-finals.

Melissa Joan Hart (Mark Ballas) - Um...I'm not feeling it. Yet. I'm not saying she's bad. But I'm not saying she's that good either. And she seems so DULL. Why is it that some of these actresses just seem so lifeless?

Tom DeLay (Cheryl Burke) - Poor Cheryl. I ditto my comment to you, Tom, that I made to Louis. You stay off my dance floor, and I'll stay out of politics.

Natalie Coughlin (Alec Mazo) - Potential. Serious potential. I might list her up there as one of my top picks to win it. She's got the work ethic, some natural rhythm, good body....yeah, she could go far.

Mya (Dmitri Chaplin) - Mya, Mya, Mya. First you have this amazing clear, pure voice that blows my socks off every time I hear it even though I'm really not into your music. And then you come out with all this grace, elegance, charm....oh my. I see a mirror ball trophy in your future.

Macy Gray (Johnathan Roberts) - When I heard that Macy was going to be on the show, my first reaction was, "Seriously??" Then when I saw her warm-up package, I thought yikes. I could see that she had some rhythm, but she was so tall and gangley. And they put her with the most white-bread, soul-free teacher on the show. Talk about no chemistry. But I was AMAZED when she did that waltz that her arms were fluid and graceful, her feet were tentative, but not awful. I was so pleasantly surprised. And I think if she could be a bit more confident out there, she could end up surprising people for quite a few episodes.

So what are your thoughts? Any performances you liked or disliked? Picks to win it? Outfits you plan on copying for church this Sunday? Do tell!

Friday, September 25, 2009

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It has to be a miracle. An early Christmas miracle. Because I just bought my first Christmas present! I'm not an early shopper. In fact, up until a few years ago I did most of my shopping on Christmas Eve Day. But the last few years I have started shopping earlier and earlier. The sheer number of nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles causes me serious anxiety if I have to shop for them all at once. But I don't think I've ever bought anything earlier than November. This is a complete upset! But I saw just the thing I wanted to get at just the right price in just the right place, so I went for it. And it feels so good.

Oh, and if you want to know who is the lucky recipient of my first Christmas present of the year....her name starts with N and ends with Icki.

Want to get in line for the next present? Leave a comment and let me know what you want for Christmas this year. You just might get it.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Last Call For Donations

Thanks to all of you wonderful people out there who helped donate to my worthy cause: my state quarter collection. I am in need of one more quarter and then my collection will be complete. I have all the rest. Somehow, magically, even a Puerto Rico quarter showed up in my jar. Who even knew it was a state? But Pennsylvania has remained elusive. And so I ask you one last time to dig through your purse, wallet, change jar, or ash tray and see if you have a Pennsylvania quarter you'd like to donate. And just to sweeten the deal, your donation will get you this lovely certificate:

By the way, some of you have inquired if I have put all my quarters into one of those lovely commemorative quarter holders. The answer to that is how big a nerd do you think I am? Please. They're in a sandwich baggie in my bedside table of course. And as soon as I get the last quarter, I'm going to spend the whole wad on some lovely prizes to give away on my blog. So the sooner you find Pennsylvania, the sooner you get stuff. So get on it already, why don't you!?

Your ever so grateful (but not as nerdy as you think) quarter collector

Monday, September 21, 2009


I noticed some strange markings on the wall in our stairwell yesterday. They look like this:

I got close and pushed on the area, and it collapsed into powder. I think it might be termites. Has anyone ever heard of termites in Utah? And are they microscopically tiny little black bugs? Cause I saw some of those in the stairwell too. Smaller than a pin head. And I can't find any pictures of termites on google that look anything like that.

It could also just be water damage. We realized some calking had come off on the shower seat right behind that wall and it has probably leaked. But the little holes in the wall make me think otherwise.

AGH! I thought they only had termites in places like Georgia and California and Hades.


I should add that there are two pieces of good news. One - our house is almost 115 years old. And it is still standing. That does bode well, right? Two - our house is made almost entirely of bricks, concrete and plaster. There is very little wood. So unless these are brick-eating bugs, they can't do too much damage. (Knocking fiercely on wood. I mean brick. I mean...Dang it!)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Shark Cage

I have two major fears in this world.

One is a fear of open water. Any large body of water, fresh or salty. It doesn't even have to be that large. Anything larger than a swimming pool can do it. I'm not sure if I'm afraid of drowning or sharks or really cold water or people seeing my bikini line in a less than stellar state. When I think back to my youth--sailing the Great Lakes in my father's sailboat, occasionally running aground on large granite boulders jutting up from the deep lake floor, and hearing my dad calmly say to me, "Go below and see if the galley is filing with water"--it makes me suspect it might be the drowning part I'm most scared of. But then there have been the times that I've been in crystal clear, warm, tropical ocean water, and I've realized that I've felt very little fear. Because I could SEE what was coming at me. And that's how I know that it all comes down to sharks. Well, not just sharks. Sharks, swordfish, octopi, squid, and any other large, menacing, toothy, tentacled, beaked fish or mammal who might want to nibble on my dangling legs for lunch. So that's why the shark cage so intrigues me. It's a life-sized version of facing your fears close up. Coming inches away from a large man-eater and not being able to run. Or swim. Or even pee your pants. Just facing it.

My other fear is spiders. This is, probably, a less justifiable fear than drowning or sharks. Tiny, mostly-harmless little spiders, theoretically easily crushed, shouldn't be able to instill much fear in a person 1000 times their size wearing rubber soled shoes, right? But there you have it. I'm afraid of tiny, mostly-harmless, nasty, freaky, creepy little creatures 1000 times smaller than me.

So when Big Daddy said to me last week, "hey, come look at this huge wicked-looking black spider I found on the porch," you would probably assume that I went running in the opposite direction. Normally when spiders are mentioned, I do. But this time I didn't. Because I knew instantly by the sudden chill in my heart that no other spider could be described in that way but a Black Widow. And I was right. When I got close enough to see its jett black body with the over-sized round abdomen and it's robotic looking legs, I knew. Even before its half concealed red hourglass was evident, I knew. And a fascination for this deadly, fearsome, disgusting black spider drew me in and wouldn't let me go. I wanted to run. I wanted to scream. But I just stared at it. Then Big Daddy went and got a jar, ostensibly to trap the spider to show the kids.

So there it sat, in its sealed, airtight jar on our porch. For DAYS. I couldn't throw it away. And I certainly wasn't going to let it out to kill it. So I just stared at it from a few inches away, fixated and horrified at the same time. After a couple of days it built a web around the top, near the crack of the sealed lid, and hunkered down, almost daring someone to try to open the lid. So I would pick up the jar and shake it until the spider let go and fell to the bottom. Safe. Safer. For just a few minutes.

I couldn't believe I was getting this close to a Black Widow. Looking at it. Holding the jar. Turning it and hearing its thick body and pointy legs clank against the glass. It almost made me throw up. It almost made me faint. But I couldn't turn away. Because I knew...this was my shark cage. And it was as close to facing my fears as I was ever going to get.

Monday, September 14, 2009

I Swear This is a HYPOTHEICAL Question

If you had an annoying personality trait that you weren't aware of, would you want someone to tell you about it? Even if it was painful to hear? Or would you rather not know, even if it meant you would go on losing friends or bugging people and not know why?



Midnight Ramblings

1. It’s past midnight.
2. I am still up.
3. I am blogging
4. Blogging after everyone else goes to bed is guilt free.
5. Of course, I will regret it in the morning, but it always seems worth it at night.
6. I hate mornings.
7. I love pie.
8. I made turtle pie today. Actually I had to turn it into a tin roof pie because Big Daddy can’t eat pecans.
9. I miss pecans.
10. But I like Big Daddy more.
11. Turtle pie is not on my diet.
12. Neither is tin roof pie.
13. Pie is not on my diet.
14. I hate diets.
15. I love pie.
16. I need to lose 3 lbs to be at my maximum allowable weight (M.A.W.).
17. I need to lose 8 lbs to be at a comfortable weight below my M.A.W., with a little cushion.
18. I need to lose 13 lbs to be so far below my MAW that I could actually consume Coca-Cola and eat chocolate and have pancakes for breakfast again for several weeks without thinking about it and still not go above my M.A.W.
19. I will never be that weight.
20. I’m sick of talking about dieting.
21. I watched the Sex And The City movie again (for probably the fourth time) on HBO tonight.
22. I still think it was an extremely satisfying movie.
23. Except for that bird in her hair.
24. I hated that bird in her hair.
25. Watching Sex And The City makes me realize how much I don’t care about labels.
26. I have never cared about labels.
27. I would never pay $200 for a pair of jeans.
28. Up until last year, I had never paid more than $25 for a pair of jeans.
29. Then last year I bought a pair of $50 jeans.
30. I love them.
31. Then I bought a pair of $30 jeans.
32. I love them even more.
33. Then I bought a pair of $20 jeans and a pair of $60 jeans.
34. I love them all.
35. I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life when I have owned 4 pairs of jeans at the same time that I loved.
36. But it has just happened.
37. And none of them cost $200.
38. Back to Sex and The City, I never liked Samantha's clothes.
39. I also never really liked Mr. Big. As in, the actor. Not my type.
40. However, speaking of who is my type, I am excited about this movie.
41. I am also excited about this movie.
42. I am not excited about this movie. YIKES.
43. I recently saw this movie. Liked it.
44. I recently saw this movie. Didn’t like it.
45. I got to start learning the Tango at my dance lesson last week.
46. I think the Tango may be my favorite dance.
47. I sprained my foot that morning, though, so I spent most of the lesson working on my hold (posture and arms).
48. The hold in the Tango is HARD.
49. It is still my favorite dance so far.
50. Biggest Loser starts this week. Yay! (Not the kind I'm in. Just the kind I watch.)
51. Maybe that will give me more motivation to diet.
52. Wait, I am not talking about dieting anymore.
53. I can't stand to wear polyester.
54. I can't wear wool either.
55. Wool makes me itch uncontrollably.
56. I really only like to wear cotton.
57. I need a vacation. A real one. With no kids.
58. Vacations with kids aren't vacations. They're just the same old routine, different location.
59. My next door neighbors deal drugs.
60. I believed I mentioned that already.
61. I also may have spooked them off by stupidly taking a picture in plain sight of one of their drug deals.
62. Oops.
63. Today in church the lesson was about how the women in the ward have touched each other’s lives.
64. Each woman was supposed to stand up and tell how one other woman in the ward had touched their life.
65. I couldn’t think of a single story.
66. I’ve been in my ward for almost 8 years.
67. Reason number 67 why I want to move.
68. I love the trees around my house.
69. Reason # 4 why I want to stay.
70. I love trees.
71. Sometimes I hug trees when people aren’t looking.
72. Sometimes I also run stop signs when people aren’t looking.
73. But only if it’s late at night.
74. And I still pause.
75. Does that count?
76. I like breakfast meats.
77. I have a hard time choosing between sausage and bacon.
78. I wear glasses in the evening.
79. My vision is drastically different in each eye.
80. left? 20/30
81. Right? 20/550.
82. 20/550 means I see at twenty feet away what most people see at 550 feet away.
83. Without my left eye, I’d be blind.
84. Without glasses I’d have no depth perception.
85. Without contacts I’d be nerdy.
86. I don’t qualify for lasik surgery.
87. That makes me sad.
88. I like to type.
89. I can type over 80 wpm.
90. Sometimes after I've typed too much, my brain tries to type my thoughts as I think them.
91. That makes thinking very laborious.
92. I guess I think faster than 80 words per minute.
93. I wish I could speak Arabic and Mandarin and Russian.
94. I wish I could remember how to say mirror in Spanish.
95. I haven’t bought a new CD in 3 years.
96. I seriously love my bed.
97. It must be late.
98. My bed is calling to me.
99. Yep. It’s 12:58am. Crap.
100. Goodnight.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Price Of Cool

I walked into the living room this morning to find my daughter watching the Imagination Movers on Disney. And I thought to myself, "What a bunch of dorks. Look at them jumping around and hamming it up like complete idiots. I bet they are so embarrassed when their friends find out what they do." And then I realized that they are making money doing that. And I thought that there is probably an amount of money someone could pay me to dance around like a fool on national television. And it probably isn't that much. But since I'm not currently in the employ of the Losers Incorporated, I feel completely free to judge and proclaim: What a bunch of tards!

Friday, September 11, 2009

South Tower, 84th Floor

About six years ago I met an amazing women named Patty. She became a huge support for me during a difficult time in my life--the horrible infertility years. As I got to know her, I found out that Patty had been working in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. She told her her amazing story of that day. And recently I asked her to recount it for me so I could share it. It's amazing. Here are her words...

"I woke September 11, 2001 to a beautiful fall day. Showered and dressed and headed to work. I worked on the 84th floor of the South tower. I remember clearly that day, noticing things about my surrounding that I would normally take for granted. When i left one elevator on the 77th floor, heading to my next elevator I realized the enormity of this building and the life size flower arrangements that I passed every day and hardly took notice of.

I was at my desk at 7am, we started our normal trading process by filling the screens with markets. What seemed like shortly after, we all felt (rather than heard) a tremendous thump. At that very second Karen (who sat next to me) said, "Patty, grab your bag, that was a bomb", i did so. As I was leaving our trading pit I saw Jose (our trading floor 'do everything guy') who was directing us to stairwells with the most urgent face I had ever seen. Later I learned the one of four stairwells he directed us to, saved our lives. It was the inner most stairwell of the building. There was a buzz going around that a helicopter hit 1 WTC by accident, walking toward the stairs I smelled the fuel. At that point my body took over my mind and every part of my being knew I was in great danger.

I remember people being very cordial in the stairwell, looking out for the elderly, helping others that needed assistance. Its at that point where the greatest patience of my life came into play, its very tempting to roll past people knowing you have a very long way down. I tried to repeat the lords prayer in my head but couldnt get past the first verse. A couple people saw my face of fear and tried to calm me. We started our flights down, it was beginning to go smoothly and I started to relax a bit. At the 65th and then the 44th floor there were announcements for 2 wtc employees to report back to their floor. The 44th floor was a main elevator bank so a lot of people exited the stairwell waiting for an elevator to retreat back to their office. I considered it and as I approached the door to that floor a loud NO was in my head, just then I saw a colleague who said, "im sticking with the stairs", I agreed. At that point the stairs were empty and we were heading down quite quickly. At the 42nd story, we heard what sounded like and felt like a freight train ripping through the building. People flew across the stairwell, thankfully I was at a landing and secure. The building is meant to bend in case of hurricane winds, it bend so far each way I thought it was going to break in half. Karen was screaming and I remember telling her as calmly as i could to keep going. I should mention, the people that got into the elevator did so minutes before the plane hit us, they didnt survive.

We continued down, it was getting hot, I was sweating but had no idea why. Finally we were on the observation deck level, we were told to take an escalator down to the mall area. It was torturous being on the ground level of a building that you just wanted OUT OF! A glimpse of the concourse (which i thankfully forgot quickly) was total devastation, a war zone to be exact. Pieces of plane and building wreckage, I'll leave it at that.

Once outside, my friend Karen had to change her shoes, the cops and firemen told us to run and not look back. Of course we ran and looked back, My building was on fire too, my thoughts were the fire jumped. (?) The strangest thing about the outside world was people standing and staring a the buildings, completely frozen. The only people walking and running were WTC employees.

Im not sure how i knew the buildings were going to fall since i had no idea what even happened, but i did. I told Karen we were going to the seaport, try our phones then proceed over the brooklyn bridge. As we were halfway across the bridge we saw our building crumble to the ground. My first thought should have been my co-workers but it wasnt, it was the cops and firemen surrounding the building. We made it to downtown brooklyn were my brother picked us up and took us home.

Upon driving to bay ridge a black, dark sky started to clear and all of a sudden we saw blue skies again. We got to my apartment, turned on the TV. The first thing i saw was Katie Curic and I thought to myself, I shouldn't be watching this. My second thought was, if i had just died, life and news would go on like every and any other day. No phone service so I turned on my computer. My first email was from a friend from Roomful of Blues saying "God hopes this email reaches you". It was only at the point I realized everyone i knew thought i was dead.

The next few days I had hopes that people would be found in the building, it never happened. Friends that were family to me 10 hours a day, 5 days a week were gone. The cast of characters I knew and loved will never be forgotten. I will always mourn their loss and the tragedy their families endure forever. I went through a scary, tragic ordeal but this isnt about me, its about the amazing people who innocently went to work that day and lost their precious lives."

A few years after I met Patty, we both were able to concieve children. Her little boy, Nathan is just younger than Daphne. And I think all the time how he wouldn't be here if Patty hadn't listened when God told her to get out of the building and stay out of the elevator. It's so amazing to me how things turned out. I know it didn't turn out this well for so many people who died that day. But for some reason, Patty's time on this earth wasn't done yet. Maybe because of Nathan.

Patty, thank you so much for being willing to share your story again. It's inspiring and precious. Your little boy will treasure this history you have written down when he gets older. And we all will treasure it every time we remember that infamous day.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sometimes There Just Aren't Enough Swear Words

There is nothing so depressing as getting on the scale and realizing you just gained back the 4 lbs you lost only 3 weeks ago. Already. And that you will now have to forego everything wonderful and sweet and delicious that you love to eat and drink. For another month. Just to get back to where you were before you decided to "let go a little" last week.



Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Most Frivelous, Superficial Post Ever

I will spare all readers with a Y chromosome from a fate worse than death and warn you right here:


I will further warn all readers with a very repressed second X chromosome:


However, for those of you out there with one X chromosome and a second, very sparkly, shopping-prone, accessory-loving X:


Those of you who are left may or may not remember the previous purse drama around here. It took place over the course of about a year, during which time I searched for the perfect purse and was unable to find it. I wanted it to be on the smaller side, as I hate digging around in outer darkness for my sunglasses. I wanted it to be kind of funky--I feel that accessories should say something about who you are. And I needed it to appeal to the practical, slightly OCD side of me that likes lots of pockets and pouches and places to put things; I want a spot for my cell phone, a spot for my keys, a spot for my sunglasses, wallet, business cards, pill box, lip gloss, pens, and any other items which might occasionally make their way into my purse.

This is a tall order.

Purses tend to come in A)Sassy and cute and gigantic/and/or/without organizational capabilities; or B) Practical and horribly ugly, or at the very worst majorly boring. Trying to find a purse that fits all of my needs was next to impossible, hence the year-long search. I eventually stumbled upon a purse that fit the bill.

Lots of pockets and pouches, pretty cute (candy apple red with an embossed paisley pattern) and of a moderate size. It would take me several months to realize that I hated this purse. Mostly because the handles were so short that it could only be held in one's hand or dangled from one's wrist. Too short to throw over the shoulder. And that, when you have two small children and are always holding two hands plus a school bag, grocery bag, diaper bag, pool bag or any other bag = a deal breaker. It also only had a small 1" wide tab across the center opening to keep in all the contents of my purse when thrown down to the floor of my car after a 90-to-0-in-5-seconds stop, and out of my son's hands when jonesing for gum. That = no worky. Plus, it never really spoke to my core personality. It sort of whispered, "You might be a 70 year old grandma. I'm not sure." to me. I wasn't trying to hear that.

So (and yes, I am finally getting to the point) I have secretly been on the lookout for a new purse. And miraculously, I finally struck upon one I thought I could like last week... after only a couple of months of looking! I wasn't dead sure about it. The handles gave me pause. Long enough? Oh Yes. But also vaguely reminiscent of the braided belts of the 90's. Oh No. However, now that I've had it a week, I can say that I absolutely adore it. It has:

1) a cell pocket
2) a key pocket
3) two interior pouches for pill cases, cards, etc.
4) an interior zippered pocket for receipts, etc.
AND as an added bonus
5) two snap shut pouches on the outside of the purse that run the length of the purse, perfect for tossing pens into and tucking sunglasses into and hiding garbage in and holding coke cans in.
6) The whole thing ZIPS SHUT! I have actually gone an entire week without Beck devouring a pack of gum or dumping everything I own on the floor of the car!
7) Plus it's cute. The stripes suit me. It also turns out that I like the braided leather handles. They're very smooth to the touch and slightly padded and feel really nice on. You'd have to try it to understand just how nice braided leather straps can feel against your skin.

Here is the little beaut......

So, in light of all that, I hereby pronounce us woman and purse.

And if you don't like it, DON'T TELL ME. I want to live in purse paradise/purse denial as long as humanly possible. Or, you know, until next year when I get bored with this purse and the start the madness again.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Wishing I Were Elsewhere

Question: What is the best vacation spot you've ever been to. Part 2) Why?

For me it probably has to be Cancun. PERFECT white sand beaches. Absolutely gorgeous turquoise water, about 90 degrees. Enough surf to body surf without being rough. And we stayed at an all-inclusive resort. Not having to fight about where to eat or stress over how much dessert or appetizers will tack on to the meal was priceless. Well, no, it was an extra $375. And worth every penny.


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Begging For Money

I'm here to humble myself. To beg from all of you. I need help. Actually, what I really need is money. I wouldn't usually post on my blog that I needed this kind of help, but I've reached the end of my rope and I just don't know where to turn. So I'm asking for any of you to donate money.

Specifically, quarters.

Here are the ones I need:


New Hampshire

Mississippi Thanks, JJ. Send me your email and I'll send you my P.O. Box.


Illinois This one just showed up ON MY DOORSTEP! Erin, you rock! I didn't even know you still read my blog.

You didn't really think I was going to beg for REAL money, did you??

I've been collecting quarters for about six months now. I'm down to these last 5 and I just can't seem to come across any. If you have one and would love to be my benefactor, just let me know what you've got. And if I deem you worthy, I'll send a P.O. box you can mail it to. Come on...all it takes is a little sofa diving or a quick scan through that re-assigned car ash tray. Please don't relegate me to yet another trip to the laundromat to exchange $20's for quarters. Thanks.


The Needy