Princess Bride

I just finished watching the Royal Wedding (could I truly call myself a woman if I hadn't?). I didn't get up at 5am for it or anything, but it was just starting when I turned on the TV after breakfast, perfect timing.

I have to say, I LOVED Kate's dress and I truly hope this sets off a new trend to put sleeves back on wedding dresses. I watch the show Say Yes To the Dress religiously, and the one complaint I have about 99% of the dresses is THEY ARE ALL STRAPLESS! And I can't tell you how many times I've heard a bride on that show say, "I want to look sexy on my wedding day." First of all, looking sexy is not what weddings are about. It's the one day of your life you should at least try to look pure. Also, by "sexy," those girls really mean "trashy," because having your boobs hang out on your wedding day is trashy, ladies, I hate to tell you. Three cheers for Kate Middleton for showing that you can look absolutely stunning, set off your amazing figure, and still look classy and elegant. Bravo!!!

Other comments:

I found the ceremony quite spiritual and touching. A lot of really great messages in there. I wonder how much anyone, including the bride and groom, internalized them in that largely un-religious country. I wonder if Charles was internalizing them when he said "I will" to Diana whilst having an affair with Camilla. I surely hope the fact that William and Kate have dated for 7 years already means they really do love each other and intend to be faithful.

I felt sad for a minute at the end of the ceremony that Diana couldn't be there. And sad for her boys that that homewrecker, Camilla, got to walk down the aisle after the bridal couple. Does Charles have no shame?

I wonder what Elton John was thinking through all that talk about marriage being between a man and a woman. Did he feel like walking out? And, for a professional singer, he sure didn't look like he was singing with much gusto. Way to give it a D+ performance, Elton.

What is with the uni-color lady-suits with matching hats? Hasn't anyone ever heard of mix and match colors or patterns??? (Although I was happy to see all the hats. I really wish hats would come back into fashion.)

Is the Queen supposed to sing "God Save The Queen?" It IS the national anthem, after all. But kind of self-promoting if she does sing it, huh?

I called Daphne over to the TV so I could show her a REAL princess and prince getting married. She looked at Kate getting walked down the aisle by her dad, just behind the Dean of Westminster, and said, "I wouldn't want to marry THAT prince!" I said, "That's her dad." "No, THAT guy," she said, pointing to the Dean. "No, that is the priest who marries them," I said. "You mean the one who tells them they can kiss?" she asked. "Yes," I clarified.

A few minutes later, they showed William and Harry walking towards the front and I told her those were the two princes. She asked which one the bride was going to marry, and I told her the one in red. "Well, I wouldn't want to marry him either!" she told me. "But I WOULD like to marry the one in the blue and gold. He's so HANDSOME," she said, curling her hands under her chin and batting her eyelashes at Prince Harry. Oh geez, I'm in trouble.

Any thoughts about the Royal Wedding?

Period England + Melodramatic Scandal = Perfect

I have been watching the BBC America presentation of Downton Abbey over the last couple of weeks.

IT IS PURE GENIUS.

I've always been a sucker for a period piece. I'm fond of Jane Austen stuff, and the Bronte sisters, and even some lesser known writers of the time. Anything is good as long as it involves England, complicated social behaviors, foreign customs, forbidden romances, gorgeous costumes, archaic language, breathtaking manors and estates, and puritanical values.

I wasn't sure if I'd like Downton Abby. For one thing, it was written currently, not in the 18th or even 19th century. For another thing, it takes place in the 1910's, not the distant past. Thirdly, it stars Elizabeth McGovern, star of She's Having A Baby, which I thought would throw off the authenticity. Really, I didn't give it much of a chance at all. But I underestimated just how effective it can be to take all the things I love about period pieces and then make them into a SOAP OPERA.

Brilliant!

The plot centers around the Earl and Countess of Grantham and their three grown daughters, but it also deals equally with the "downstairs," the lives of the house's servants, which you seldom see in period pieces. Though the values and morals of the time are preserved, and the characters generally behave with the decency, honor, and integrity you expect of people from bygone eras (which is what I love about period pieces--reading about people who behaved so much better than people do now), the story still manages to get the characters into all kinds of scrapes and situations that really keep the plot twisting and turning and bringing you back for more. It's like Days Of Our Lives 1913-style!

If you haven't checked it out yet, I highly recommend you do. I'm not sure how you'd get ahold of the past episodes. BBCA reruns? On Demand TV? Hulu? Pirating them somewhere on the internet (which, of course, if you're a network exec reading this, I don't support AT ALL.)? But find a way to watch this show. I guarantee, you'll love it. Unless you're a straight man. Then skip right over to footage of Jimmer Fredette. You'll get the exact same high.

The Best Way To Do Laundry

...is bawling your eyes out.





I dump the laundry in a big pile on my bed, turn on The Locator, and fold (wipe eyes) fold (wipe eyes again) fold (sob, blow nose).

BEST SHOW EVER.

("We" network, Wednesdays and Fridays)

Oscar Awards Recap

As I lay in bed this morning, reworking, for the 80th time, my Best Actress Oscar acceptance speech, I realized what was really missing from last night's Oscar awards ceremony: my opinion on everything. So I'm trying to do my duty now, to complete your Oscar experience.



There are spoilers ahead. So if you haven't watched your DVR'ed Oscars yet, it might be too late to make your predictions after you read this post. Just warning you.



Best Picture: The Hurt Locker. To be fair, I haven't watched the whole thing. I watched about 20 minutes of it on my way to St. Thomas, but then my Ambien kicked in and I'm pretty sure I started having a conversation in Chinese with the guy next to me. Who was not Chinese. And who might have been a girl. At any rate, I don't recall ever finishing the movie. Come to think of it, I don't recall what I did with my portable DVD player. But back to my point... I kind of feel like the first 20 minutes of a movie should blow you away (Hahaha! GET IT? BLOW you AWAY? As in, like, bombs?! Oh, I crack me up.), and, well, it didn't. So I guess I should finish watching the movie before my judgment on this will carry the weight of my usual post-Oscar recap pronouncements. But for right now, I'm saying, "Really?"




Best Actor: Jeff Bridges. I also didn't see this movie. But I like Jeff Bridges. And I think he's a good actor. And he's been doing movies since before I was in the womb, so I guess it's high time he got his Oscar. What I don't understand is why, after waiting 95 years for an Academy Award, his speech was so awful! Preparation, Man! And by the way, stop ending every sentence with, "Man." This isn't the 70's, Man!




Best Actress: Sandra Bullock. I kind of figure the same thing about Sandra Bullock that I figured about Jeff Bridges. She's been in the business a long time, and they figured they'd better give her that Oscar when she's actually doing a movie about something other than being the insecure and/or petulant, semi-comedic love interest. Not that it wasn't a great movie. It was. But her performance could be summed up in four words: Southern accent, don't' smile. I will give her this, though, GREAT SPEECH. Very funny. I like funny in my Oscar speeches. Also touching. I like touching in my Oscar speeches too. Not bawl my-eyes-out touching. Like Halle Berry's Oscar speech. All that sobbing was kind of embarrassing. Everyone was staring at me! Just the two-big-tears-rolling-down kind of touching. Well done, Sandra. Well done.



Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique. Heck ya! The woman was amazing. Ok, I didn't see the actual movie, but I watched the previews and trailers and Oscar clips a lot, and just from those she blew me away. I predicted this one on my iphone Oscars app (did you know they had one??) and I was actually right about this one, unlike most of my other pics.



Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz. Guess what, I actually saw this one! And I agree with this award whole-heartedly. Christoph Waltz played the creepiest, slimiest, scariest, uber-intelligent villain ever. The kind that does abominable things with a strange sense of humor attached. Yeech. But BRILLIANT.




Best Animated Feature Film: Up. So to be fair, I have only seen two of the five nominated films in this category. So maybe I shouldn't say anything. On the other hand, that hasn't stopped me thus far, so..... I liked "Up." I did. It was cute. I liked The Fantastic Mr. Fox better. A lot better. I wish it had won. But it didn't. I'm not going to cry over it. Well, I might Sandra Bullock cry over it, but I'm not about to Halle Berry cry over it. I didn't like the Fantastic Mr. Fox that much.



Best Director: Kathryn Bigalow, The Hurt Locker. I'm glad a woman won. I'm sorry her dress looked like something from the prom section of Dillards. That's about all I have to say about that.



Best Cinematography: Avatar. This was a no brainer. If you saw Avatar in 3D, you know that it did for 3D film what Jurassic Park did for CGI...blew you away, set a completely new standard for all movies to come. As of now, you can watch a movie while sitting IN the movie. At least that's how it feels. Avatar didn't take very many of the big categories, but it raked in quite a few of the technical ones. And rightly so.




Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria. I know historic pieces are not everyone's cup of tea, but really, everyone should try that cup of tea every once in a while. And this is probably a good one to take a taste with. It was sweet, and charming, and lovely. I was so sad when it was over as I could have easily watched another two hours of it. Anyway, the costumes were beautiful. There were beautiful costumes in several of the other nominated movies as well. I honestly would have been happy if Nine or Bright Star or Coco before Channel had won. But I was very pleased that The Young Victoria won this one and got some Oscar recognition.

And then there are the other categories that are boring and no one cares about. So I'll move right on to the most important category: The Dresses.


If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that the color to wear this year at the Oscars was silver. Beautiful, shiny, liquid metal. I loved it! And though I didn't get a chance to see every dress (I still have to watch the Red Carpet Pre-show and Fashion Police), I can say that so far I saw some of the most beautiful dresses I've seen in years at any awards show, and fewer screw ups than I've seen in a long time too. Every one really stepped it up for this year's Oscars. Nice going, Hollywood!

Favorites:

Sandra Bullock. AMAZING. The color, the fit, the flow, and the beautiful detail on the bodice. A+


Zoe Saldana. It was a bit Rio De Janeiro Carnival on the bottom, but I loved the glitter top. And I loved that she went for a bold color scheme. B+



Anna Kendrick. Although I'm usually not a fan of the nude colored dress, this one was exquisite. It had the most lovely layered ruching on the bodice, and then the flow of the skirt was just perfect. I really liked this one a lot.


Cameron Diaz. She got in on the metallic look and her dress was gorgeous. I loved the crystals and beading. It seems like she doesn't usually go for such a full skirt--she has the body to pull of something much more fitted, but I liked it anyway. A-



Demi Moore. Again, usually not a fan of the nude/blush colored dress. And if it had just been from the waist down, I would have given this a poor review. But the top with the criss cross layers was just amazing. So I give it a B+.


Elizabeth Banks. This one looked way more silver than blue on the stage. And it fit her like a glove. I loved the seams in the bodice. And her accessories (tiny diamond headband) were perfect. A+



Gabourey Sidibe. Beautiful color. Nice cut. It fit her well. I liked a lot about it, but not the appliques. I'm not sure if the designer thought they would distract the eye from her generous figure, but I felt it was a cheap trick and that the dress would have been more beautiful on her without the cheesy flowers. Take those off? Perfect dress for her. B-


Sarah Jessica Parker. I'm not sure if this was vintage or if it just looked vintage, but I loved it. It was a breath of fresh air with all the mermaid dresses and ball gowns. The strip of satin at her neck was just the right touch. A+


Tina Fey. I have watched Tina Fey wear some of the strangest and ugliest dresses to awards shows in the past couple of years. She tends to wear short skirts to formal events and wears colors and fabrics that do not suit her shapely figure (trust me, I know all about dressing a hippy body!), so even though I can't say I would rave about this dress on its own, I find it to be such a huge improvement for her that I had to give her props. A solid B, Tina!




Helen Mirren. Silvery, gauzy, sparkly, perfect. I hate it when older-ish ladies feel like the have to wear a gunny sack (what IS a gunny sack?) to awards ceremonies. Helen Mirren knows how to dress glamorously despite her age. (Barbara Streisand and Meryl Streep, take notes!) A



Queen Latifah. HOLY MOLEY, that woman looked HOT! She seriously looked amazing, and that dress showed off her body perfectly. The rose color looked amazing with her butterscotch skin tone. Loved it. A

I think my award for Best Dressed goes to Sandra Bullock.


And now for the Not So Special category.



Maggie Gyllenhaal. I am just not into patterned evening gowns. This one was a beautiful fit and suited her body well, but the blue camouflage thing just wasn't doing it for me. C+



Kathryn Bigelow. As I said before, this dress just looked so "off the rack." Like something you'd see a girl wear to prom. She got the color right (metallic) and the fabric is nice on the bottom. But the top is just so ordinary.




Meryl Streep. I think she is just beautiful. And she has an amazing figure, especially for her age. So every awards show I get excited to see what she'll wear, but then she wears these baggy, frumpy, Bea Arthur dresses. I wish just once she wouldn't try to look like draperies! C-



Carey Mulligan. Another thing that bugs me is short skirts at black tie events. It's the Oscars! Wear a full-length dress! Besides that, it was just kind of forgetable. C




Rachel McAdams. I am pretty sure my mom has made curtains or pajamas (or probably both) out of this fabric before. The grey camo-meets-modern-art is hideous. It reminds me of a motel bedspread. D-



Mariah Carey. Again, short dress, wrong event. Plus, it is just so boring, plain, and forgetable. D



Kristen Stewart. It's not that the dress is bad. It's kind of strange. And choked-looking. But mostly it just doesn't suit her. It's so stark and severe. And she's so young and...blah. I just thought it was a bad match for her. C



Penelope Cruz. Hated it. I thought it did nothing for her tiny, beautiful figure, especially the weird stuff around the top. And the color against the other bold reds looked washed out. C-




Charlize Theron. I actually don't hate the dress except for the boobie swirls. Why, Charlize? WHY? C+


Vera Farmiga. This dress looked like she was being attacked by giant, fuscia cupcake wrappers. AWFUL. F



Diane Kruger. Um....what IS that? F


Molly Ringwald. Molly, Molly, Molly. You know I am a huge fan. But I think you kept that dress from 1989 or something. It is not working for me. Neither is the hair. And the "jewelry" is....what?...Egyptian Shabby? It was your big shot to show the word that you still had it. "HAD" it is right. F



Nicole Richie. First of all, why is SHE at the Oscars??? Secondly, I think she ripped up the berber carpet in my church gymnasium and had a dress made out of it. I do give her props for trying out a different shape than everyone else, but still, D.

Although there were several good nominees for worst dressed, I'm going to have to go with Vera Farmiga and the Cupcake Attack.



What about you? Did you have any surprises or disapointments in the awards category?

Any thoughts on best or worst dresses? Do tell!

TV Greats

I'm back from St. Thomas! I'm not sure that should end with an exclamation point, now that I think about it. Is there a symbol on the keyboard that I can end a sentence with that demonstrates the horror that was leaving the tropics to come home to winter? That would be a more appropriate punctuation mark.

I'm back from St.Thomas :(

There, that's more like it.

As for my trip, I may or my not blog about it. I mean, it was awesome, but how many pictures of amazing beaches can I show?

So for now, I'm going to blog about my new favorite show, American Pickers, which my husband discovered for me while I was gone. It's like Hoarders meets Antique Road Show. Pure awesomeness. Does that man know me or what??

Here's a little taste...



Mondays at 9/8c (which is 8pm here in Utah, I think) on the History Channel.

p.s. If you can find the episode "Mole Man" to watch, it's pure gold. The probably-autistic guy in that show dug underground like 25 feet and created a maze of passages and rooms, each full of amazing finds. It's crazy! Crazy good.

Spicey

This commercial totally cracks me up. Anyone seen it?




Heheheeee.

Plus he's hot. That is some gooood advertising.

Dancing With The Stars Review - Week 4

I didn't do a review last week. I was too disgusted. Honestly, this is the least talented group we've ever had. I'm sorry to say it, but it's true. By this time in all the other seasons, there were a lot of 8's, 9's, and 10's. And a bad score was 7's. But this season we are still seeing 4's, 5's and 6's! A lot of them.

And then there's Len. I want to punch that guy in his marble-filled mouth! Why can't he make up his mind? He tells people one week there isn't enough content, then when they add more the next week there is too much. Then the next week they simplify and there isn't enough again. He constantly contridicts himself. I swear the guy has Alzheimers and can't remember by the time he finishes his comment what he said at the beginning.

I also want to duct tape Samantha Harris's mouth shut. She is the most idiotic host of any show EVER. Could she ask stupider questions? NO. She couldn't. Thank goodness for the 30-second fast forward button on my remote!

I'm not going to go through each dance individually tonight. There was a lot of really bad dancing, mostly in the Two Step--you know who you are.

So let me just sum up tonight's show by saying....

CAN'T WE JUST GIVE MYA THE TROPHY ALREADY AND END THE TORTURE???

A Brush With Sort-Of Fame

You know the Brush With Fame Game, right? It's where you and your friends sit around and tell how you met/saw/were in the presence of someone famous at one time or another. Like when I was at Sundance a couple of weeks ago and Robert Redford almost ran over me in his Mercedes Station Wagon. Or when I was in the Kathmandu airport and I stood next to Steven Segal while we filled out our immigration papers. Then you see whose brush with fame was the most impressive (and seeking out a celebrity at a concert or something doesn't count. It has to be random.) And that's who wins.

Well, here's my latest Brush With Fame....ish. My ballroom dance teacher was on So You Think You Can Dance last night and the night before! I know, it's not really a brush with fame. For one thing, he's not actually famous. Yet. He made it through the auditions and on to the Vegas round, and through the first several rounds in Vegas. But they didn't even show his name (although he did get a couple of sound bites). For another thing, he was only my dance teacher once. He got hired on by my other dance teacher, but then he got through the SYTYCD auditions so he stopped working (and I wasn't allowed to know why because the show hadn't aired yet). But still, it's pretty cool when someone you danced with for an hour is on national TV. Maybe he'll make it through to the top 20 and this post will seem a lot more impressive. (Keep your eye out. He's a Polynesian ballroom dancer from SLC named Tony.)

Anyway, anyone else have a brush with fame they'd like to brag about? I'm sure you'll win. Unless Tony WINS So You Think You Can Dance...then I will demand a recount.

Dancing With The Stars Review - Week 2

Last night was a fun night of dancing. And yet I still can't shake the feeling that the scores are overall way lower this season than last. Last season it seemed like lots of people were getting 8's and 9's on the first and second shows, and 7's were the low scores. But this season, so far there are a LOT of 5's and 6's with 7's being considered pretty good. There have only been a very few 8's and 9's. Here's a recap in case you missed it.

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff (Quick Step) - By far my favorite dance of the evening. His Kelly green suit was awesome, her feathery dress was amazing (how can I get one of those), the Muppet Theme Song was a fun choice to dance to, and together it all made for a precise, fun, energetic number. LOVED it. And they got good scores (three 9's) for it.

Kathy Ireland & Tony Dovolani (Quick Step) - This number should have been renamed the Slow Step for them. I swear someone cranked down the tempo on the band for this one because it felt like they were moving in slow motion. That being said, it was a much better dance for her. Her feet more more precise. Her stiffness worked for her in keeping her hold. I liked it. The judges still didn't love it, but I saw major improvement.

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova (Quick Step) - Good. Not great, not bad. Just good. More personality came out. I think he looked like he was enjoying himself more. But I'm just not digging her, for some reason.


Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel (Tango) - I think Kelly has some natural dancing ability, but she does seem to be a slow learner when it comes to choreography. That really affected her performance this week as she only had 4 days, not 4 weeks, to get it down. It was sloppy, all over the place, missing steps...I can't say I liked it. But I still hope she hangs in there. She just has something about her that is fun to watch.


Chuck Liddel & Anna Trebunskaya (Tango) - Well, it was OK. That's all. He can do the mad/intense Tango face just fine. But I still say he's not much of a dancer. As for his partner, that dress would have been great for a cocktail party, but just too much tulle for a Tango. I wanted to see some LEGS.


Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Tango) - Oh dear. Once again, Debi, you just looked so insecure. Something was wrong--you were mad or in pain or something. It showed on your face. The dancing was shakey. I really really want to like you, but you haven't hit your stride yet.


Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson (Jive) - He deserved his triple 9's. Very good, very fun, very sharp. And I LOVED the purple velvet suit.


Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough (Jive) - Eh. It wasn't as impressive as her Salsa. Jive requires a lot more precision. Your good body won't carry you through on this dance. Derek sort of out-danced her, which is weird when it's the guy doing that. I didnt' love it, didn't hate it.


Louis Vito & Chelsea Hightower (Jive) - Ok, wow. MAJOR improvement. I don't know if this dance just suited him more or if he's gotten that much better in a week. But I honestly felt his first performance was painful to watch, whereas this one was fun, sharp, energetic. I give Louis the MIP (Most Improved Player) award this week.


Mark Dakascos & Lacey Schwimmer (Quick Step) - He's very athletic and sharp. He keeps up and looks good doing it. Lots of personality and showmanship. I still don't think he's dancing at his full potential, though. I look forward to watching that when it happens.


Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas (Jive) - Once again, just sort of average. I am waiting for something about her to wow me. I haven't seen it yet.



Tom DeLay & Cheryl Burke (Tango) - A bit slow and mechanical. But definitely an improvement from last week. I still think he has no business being on the show. And if he doesn't get kicked off soon, it'll be all you damn Republicans' fault!


Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo (Quick Step) - She's very good. Smiley, fun, athletic. Her partner really just needs to harness all her physical capabilities and get her technique right. If she doesn't start pointing her toes soon, I'm going to scream!


Mya & Dmitri Chaplin (Jive) - Mya, Mya, Mya. You did me proud, Girl. Sassy, fun, sharp...and so much personality. You really owned that dance. I loved it. And I still say you will probably win this thing.













Gone
Ashley Hamilton





















Macy Gray