Tuesday, November 29, 2011

How To Keep From Overspending At Christmas Time

I don't know about you, but I've never walked out of Costco EVER without spending at least $100. Even if I went in there JUST to buy a tray of cocktail shrimp for $9.99 (doesn't everything at Costco cost $9.99??), I always end up throwing a bunch of really good bargains (i.e. super delicious mega sized portions of whatever that lady was handing out at the end of the aisle) into my cart.

So today when I went in for a pack of AA batteries, I came up with a foolproof way to keep from overspending which I will generously share with you: Don't get a cart. That way you can only buy what you can carry.

As it turns out, I can carry quite a bit. 1 pack of AA batteries, 1 giant case of taquitos (hey, we're almost out!), a bag of truffles (teacher gifts are coming up, you know), some wrapping paper (I am addicted. Seriously, disturbingly, ADDICTED to buying Christmas wrapping paper. I'm pretty sure I could wrap all the presents in North America right now. But this paper was so cute...I couldn't resist!), a Christmas music CD two pack (um...no excuse for this one. Just a pure impulse buy) and a giant package of Oreos (you should see my kids inhale Oreos!). I am pretty sure my biceps increased by 2 inches by the time I got to check-out. BUT...only $57! Cha-ching!

So, almost foolproof. You're welcome.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Tigers, Skeletons, and Stuffed Sausages

Here are a few pictures for the friends, relatives, and other random strangers who enjoy pictures of my kids.

(And I can I just say, in case it isn't clear, that I no longer have any input on my kids' choices for costumes? Well, except Pippa's. And let's just say this about hers: It was NOT my first choice. My first choice was a darling bumble bee costume that Costumes4Less was supposed to ship to me between Oct 21 and Oct 26, but who informed me on OCT 27th that, oops!, they didn't actually have that costume in stock. They also informed me that they would "do everything in their power to make it up to me." But when I told them they could ship me a different costume with expedited shipping that they'd pay for themselves, not only did they not do that, they never responded at all! So, for future reference, DO NOT ORDER FROM COSTUMES4LESS!!! They are a terrible terrible company who doesn't mind screwing someone over 3 days before halloween and forcing them to dress their baby in a horrible $5 costume from the local party store which didn't even remotely fit her although it was sized 6 months larger than their baby and which required them to use the shoe covers that came with the costume for a beanie because, though the costume was made for a 1 month old, the shoe covers were made for a 6 year old.)

Phew! I just had to get that out because I told Costumes4Less I would if they didn't come through.

Now on to the lovely, scary, amazing, and very rotund pictures of my kids at Halloween 2011...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The One Thing You Don't Want To Forget To Take On Your Trip

Bathing suit? Check!
Pajamas? Check!
Toiletries? Check!
Socks? Check!
Underwear? Check!
Clothes? Check!
Sunscreen? Check!
Lube? Check! Check!
Cell phone and charger? Check!
Laptop and charger? Check!
Blistex? Check!
Sweater? Check!
15 pairs of shoes for a 4 day trip? Check!
Ok..That's everything.

Now let's go over here by this beautiful waterful, with the sunset and ocean in the background, and have someone take our pict...

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Boo Humbug!

I realize that this post is going to make me sound like some kind of cranky Halloween Skelescrooge, but I can't help it. I've got some bones to pick (get it, BONES?) about Halloween and the various way people evidently enjoy spoiling it for small children.

1) No costumes at school. Really, School? Because spending a whole 7 hours in costume is going to monumentally ruin my children's long term education? The absolutely FABULOUS education they're getting? LAME. Can't they even dress up as someone historical to brain up Halloween a little? Sheesh.

2) People not giving out candy. Seriously, how hard is it to give out candy? You spend $3 on treats, turn on your porch light, and start watching TV. Every so often, get up and hand some candy out. What's so hard about that?? Well, evidently it's super hard because this year (and in past years) at least half my neighborhood didn't give out candy. Do you know how lame it is explaining to your kids over and over again that they can't go knock at that dark house because mean weirdos live there who don't like candy or children or holidays?

3) Trunk-or-treat. I'm not sure if they have this where you live, but where I live they have this strange condensed version of Halloween where instead of the kids going door to door, all the people in the neighborhood gather their cars together in a small area like a cul-de-sac or church parking lot, and the kids just go trunk to trunk as the people hand them candy. It's kinda handy if the weather is super cold. And an indoor trunk-or-treat can work well if it's rainy or snowy. But this year it was a balmy 65 degrees. And yet they did a trunk or treat. So that probably explains why the houses were all dark and no one was giving out candy. And why no kids came to my house to eat the loads of candy I bought. Trunk or treat is such a lazy killjoy version of Halloween!

4) Houses who leave their porch lights on but who aren't home. Hello? How long have you been alive?? If you're not participating in Halloween (LAME) then turn your porch light off!

5) Similarly, people who deck their house all out for Halloween with giant spiders on the facade, big blow up Frankensteins in the yard, ghosts hanging from the trees, spooky music playing from a stuffed black cat, skeletons sitting on the porch welcoming you, AND THEN THE PORCH LIGHT IS OUT NO ONE IS HOME. I like to call that FALSE ADVERTISING.

Ok, that pretty much sums it up. Stay tuned in a few weeks for my Thanksgiving and Christmas versions of griping about the holidays and how everyone else does it wrong!