Tigers, Skeletons, and Stuffed Sausages

Here are a few pictures for the friends, relatives, and other random strangers who enjoy pictures of my kids.

(And I can I just say, in case it isn't clear, that I no longer have any input on my kids' choices for costumes? Well, except Pippa's. And let's just say this about hers: It was NOT my first choice. My first choice was a darling bumble bee costume that Costumes4Less was supposed to ship to me between Oct 21 and Oct 26, but who informed me on OCT 27th that, oops!, they didn't actually have that costume in stock. They also informed me that they would "do everything in their power to make it up to me." But when I told them they could ship me a different costume with expedited shipping that they'd pay for themselves, not only did they not do that, they never responded at all! So, for future reference, DO NOT ORDER FROM COSTUMES4LESS!!! They are a terrible terrible company who doesn't mind screwing someone over 3 days before halloween and forcing them to dress their baby in a horrible $5 costume from the local party store which didn't even remotely fit her although it was sized 6 months larger than their baby and which required them to use the shoe covers that came with the costume for a beanie because, though the costume was made for a 1 month old, the shoe covers were made for a 6 year old.)

Phew! I just had to get that out because I told Costumes4Less I would if they didn't come through.

Now on to the lovely, scary, amazing, and very rotund pictures of my kids at Halloween 2011...

Boo Humbug!

I realize that this post is going to make me sound like some kind of cranky Halloween Skelescrooge, but I can't help it. I've got some bones to pick (get it, BONES?) about Halloween and the various way people evidently enjoy spoiling it for small children.

1) No costumes at school. Really, School? Because spending a whole 7 hours in costume is going to monumentally ruin my children's long term education? The absolutely FABULOUS education they're getting? LAME. Can't they even dress up as someone historical to brain up Halloween a little? Sheesh.

2) People not giving out candy. Seriously, how hard is it to give out candy? You spend $3 on treats, turn on your porch light, and start watching TV. Every so often, get up and hand some candy out. What's so hard about that?? Well, evidently it's super hard because this year (and in past years) at least half my neighborhood didn't give out candy. Do you know how lame it is explaining to your kids over and over again that they can't go knock at that dark house because mean weirdos live there who don't like candy or children or holidays?

3) Trunk-or-treat. I'm not sure if they have this where you live, but where I live they have this strange condensed version of Halloween where instead of the kids going door to door, all the people in the neighborhood gather their cars together in a small area like a cul-de-sac or church parking lot, and the kids just go trunk to trunk as the people hand them candy. It's kinda handy if the weather is super cold. And an indoor trunk-or-treat can work well if it's rainy or snowy. But this year it was a balmy 65 degrees. And yet they did a trunk or treat. So that probably explains why the houses were all dark and no one was giving out candy. And why no kids came to my house to eat the loads of candy I bought. Trunk or treat is such a lazy killjoy version of Halloween!

4) Houses who leave their porch lights on but who aren't home. Hello? How long have you been alive?? If you're not participating in Halloween (LAME) then turn your porch light off!

5) Similarly, people who deck their house all out for Halloween with giant spiders on the facade, big blow up Frankensteins in the yard, ghosts hanging from the trees, spooky music playing from a stuffed black cat, skeletons sitting on the porch welcoming you, AND THEN THE PORCH LIGHT IS OUT NO ONE IS HOME. I like to call that FALSE ADVERTISING.

Ok, that pretty much sums it up. Stay tuned in a few weeks for my Thanksgiving and Christmas versions of griping about the holidays and how everyone else does it wrong!

Obligatory Halloween Post

I am happy to say that we had the highest turnout of trick-or-treaters in the seven Halloweens we've lived here. Yay! I actually went through all my candy. I even bought a spare bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, just in case, and I ended up opening them and using all of them. Wait, that sucks now that I think about it! I was hoping to have to snack on them because they were left over. BUT I am happy to see my previously super-lame neighborhood finally get their act together on Halloween. (I think we had about 30 kids. That's good for the ghetto, where you're just as likely to get crack rocks in your sack as Snickers.)

As for my kids, they had a blast. They were both old enough to "get it." Miraculously, Daphne didn't walk into any houses this year! Beck, on the other hand, walked into two. Once he made it all the way back into the master bedroom at before we realized he wasn't on the doorstep with us anymore. Oops! Sorry about that, Neighbor.

We also hit double the houses this year. I could have gone on all night, and I'm sure Daphne could have too, but Beck petered out after 2 streets, up and down. Killjoy.

So, here are my lovely kids. (Oh and you may notice that they are dressed opposite to the way that 90% of you voted. As it turned out, they were out of the cowgirl costume I wanted in Daphne's size, and we decided it was unlikely that Beck would sport the braids in the Indian brave costume, so we went with the black and white cowboy and Indian squaw theme instead.) Beck, always so astute and p.c., announced at several houses, "Cowboys SHOOT Indians!" Thanks, Son. Now grab your M&M's and let's go.




Sadly, I packed up the Halloween decor today. Goodbye tombstones. Goodbye skeleton bones. Goodbye jack-o-lanterns and fake blood and spiders and webs. I'll see you in 10 months, 26 days.

Happy Devil's Night!

Don't know what Devil's Night is? Well, if you live in Detroit and you're lucky, your car might get egged. If you live in Detroit and you're not lucky, your car might get keyed. If you live in Detroit and you don't sit outside with a shotgun on October 30th, your house might get burnt to the ground. Why? 'Cause we Michiganders know how to paaaartay.

And now I'll leave you with a happier thought. The only vandalism here was committed against pumpkins. (click to enlarge)



p.s. Bonus points if you can tell me which 1997 movie set in the Detroit area made reference to Devil's Night. (No fair looking it up!)

The Ghost of Halloween Past

Consider this a tag if you want to play along...I thought it might be fun to dig up old Halloween pictures and post them. What have you been in years past?

I also wanted to see if people could tell who my husband was dressed up as. While I usually stick to classic themes, he likes to be obscure characters from movies and T.V., from 70's and 80's mostly. So, peruse for your enjoyment. But I'll also award bonus points to anyone (who doesnt' already know--don't tell if you do) who can guess who Big Daddy is dressed up as.

2007


2006



2005


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Halloween Preview

Two years ago, we dressed up Daphne in a super cute ladybug costume for Halloween. Unfortunately, she took a bad nap that day and woke up as a little bee (otch). We couldn't get a single good picture of her. (see below)



So, in my old age, I'm getting wiser. I decided I should do some pre-Halloween pictures this year. Taken when my kids are mellow. When the smell of my desire for a good photo shoot isn't tangy in the air. When my pupils aren't dilated with the fear of not getting a single good shot. When they're lulled into a false sense of security, believing that the "dress up" is "just for fun." Suckers. So here is the Halloween preview. Now I will feel OK if they both turn into monsters (which is neither of their costume) on Halloween night.

Beck as monkey


Daphne as witch. Or "princess witch" as she calls it. My way of convincing her that her witch costume was what she wanted to be after she changed her mind.

My Scary Life

So on Friday night I went to the Haunted Forest with Tiburon. It was a blast! She blogged all about it here. So I won't bore you with a complete copy cat post. Hers was perfect. Instead, I'll let you in on a few scary secrets about my life...picture included.

In an attempt to get down to my college weight, I've gone on a starvation diet. I think it's working...

( I should probably focus on a new wardrobe now, huh?)

Usually, when I got out in public, I've spent some time on hair and make up. But today I'm going to expose my first-thing-in-the-morning look to the world...


But usually a good mud mask gets me back to normal...



If you know me at all, you'll know that I hate to be woken up while I'm sleeping. I can get real testy. So when my neighbor's dog wakes me up in the night, I usually run to the window and shout at them. For some reason, they always back down...



Big K has hired out our yard work. They are a bunch of clowns, but they're pretty cheap...

One thing you may not know about me is that I'm super into fashion. I have a huge closet packed full with rows of clothes. But it makes the decision-making part so stressful.


I hope my husband doesn't read this. He doesn't know that I've been getting a little something-something on the side. This is a picture of me and my afternoon delight...

Tiboron wanted a picture of herself with us. I think she may be trying to steal my man!



I live in a really old house. One hundred and 13 years old. We've heard spooky sounds coming from the basement sometimes. I've wondered if our house might be haunted. So I set up a hidden camera to take a picture if anything moves down there. Here is the first shot....
Maybe we should move.

We should probably hook our house up to the city plumbing. Our well water tastes funny sometimes.


Well, that's a little sneak peak into my life. Hope you enjoyed it.

Happy Thoughts

Well, I figured since I have effectively offended 90% of my constituency by bashing first Twilight and then minivans, I better do a happy post next. So here is my happy post.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN! It is by far my favorite holiday. I do love Christmas morning and all. But something about endulging in the macabre, the spooky, the creepy, and the mystical really pleases me. And I love to dress up. Plus the Halloween decor is so fun. This year I bought a few new items to put in my yard and in my house. I bought some ghosts to hang from the trees. And I bought some tombstones to make a little graveyard. I also bought a giant spider that comes down over my front door. I've already scared quite a few little kids with the spider over my door. Our neighbor's son wouldn't come on my porch because it freaked him out so much. I love it! And I see the little neighbor kids stop at my fence and point to the ghosts, daring each other to go up and touch them. It just tickles me to see them excited like that that.

Indoors I keep things a little less spooky, a little more decorative. I used to put those fake spider webs all over the house, but this year I decided not to. And I think it was a good decision. By the time Halloween comes around, I'm usually so sick of those things. I've got enough real cobwebs in my house due to the high cielings that I can't reach to clean...I really don't need the fake ones.

Here are some of my favorite decorative items:

What do you do to decorate for Halloween?