The Wish Fairy

If a wish fairy showed up today and said, "I can wave my magic wand and change 3 things about your body," what 3 things would you change?

Me?

1) Hairless. Except eyebrows, eyelashes, and head. Why pay for laser treatments when you have a wish fairy around?
2) Bibbity-Bobbity-Buttlift!
3) I almost said lovely cheekbones on this one, but I suppose I should be a titch more practical (because, you know, wish fairies are all about pragmatism) and wish for perfect vision. You'd think this one wouldn't need a wish fairy with science on our side, but my eyes have never been stable enough for lasik. Stupid eyeballs.


You?

Formspring Answers - Part Trois

If you haven't heard of Formspring, it's a website where you can ask your friends anonymous questions you've always wanted to know the answers to. Here are the latest questions and answers.

Questions Answered:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Can you possibly know how much your blog and YOU are appreciated?
I guess I may never know for sure, but comments like this give me an inkling. Thank you so much for saying so! I am glad my blog helps/entertains/kills time for a few people out there.

And you can never know how much I appreciate you readers!





How does the 2nd part of the HCG work, after your 21 days?

The second phase of HCG is the maintenance phase. You no longer take HCG. You no longer have a calorie restriction. You can eat meats, eggs, nuts, dairy, all vegetables and fruits. But still no starches/sugars (except those sugars naturally found in fruits). This phase lasts 3 weeks.

The purpose of this phase is to reset your body's set-point (the weight your body tries to maintain). The longer a person can stay at one weight with little variation, the better her body will create that as a set-point (that works against you too when you gain weight and stay there). The problem most people have after a diet is that they are sick of restricting and they quickly go back to eating what they used to. So the body naturally fights to get back to their old weight. With the HCG Maintenance phase, it forces your body to create a new set point so that you won't have to fight to stay at your new weight.

After the maintenance phase, you slowly reintroduce carbs and sugars back into your diet. Then as long as you don't go more than 2 lbs over your last HCG weight, you eat pretty normally. Obviously, one still wants to keep it within reason. No diet will hold you to a new weight if you start pigging out. But this diet at least gives you a contingency plan in case you do begin to put on weight. IF you follow it. (My guess is that most people who have put lots of weight back on after this diet aren't following the contingency plan and/or didn't do the maintenance phase.)


Tell us more about the cutterpillar!

My ingenious husband created from scratch a scrapbooking paper/photo trimmer. If you've ever used a paper trimmer, most have a stationary blade that pushes against the paper. Or they have a rotating blade that is turned as it pushes against the paper. His has a rotating blade, driven by a gear system, that glides along a bar. Because it's gear driven, it rotates independent of the paper. That means it does incredibly precise cuts w/o ever dulling the blade or shifting the paper. It is also backlit under the cutting area so that you can clearly see where you are cutting. It doesn't sound that exciting...until you try one. Everyone who tries it gasps at how it glides through paper like a hot knife through butter.

It's about to go into production in China. After 2-3 long years of finding the right factory, making several prototypes, changing the problems, and making more prototypes, we think he has perfected it and hopefully we should go into production in the next few weeks. Yeah!

You can check out his website to see what it looks like: www.cutterpillar.com.


Anyone else have an anonymous question you'd like to ask me? Click here!

Formspring 2

Thank you to all who have participated in formspring. It's time for another round! First, thought, I must apologize wholeheartedly that three of the questions asked last week on my formspring page were lost in cyberspace. After I answered them, they never showed up on my profile page. I tried troubleshooting it and there were hundreds of similar posts about questions being lost. I guess formspring still has a few kinks to work out. Anyway, if you want to ask them again, I'll be happy to answer them again. Otherwise, please accept my humble apologies for their loss.

Questions Answered:

Do you think you guys will ever move to Austin? It rocks.
Not likely, but also not impossible. If we can ever get the Cutterpillar thing going and it's making decent money, Kelly will feel OK about looking for a better job. Maybe in Austin??

What kind of cake will you be having today? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
My cake was chocoate with white buttercream frosting. And thank you for the birthday wishes!

How do I purchase said passion party products?
My website is http://www.thepassionroom.yourpassionconsultant.com. I can also mail you catalogues (they're much easier to browse that way) if you email me at hotbootymama at gmail dot com. p.s. Passion parties is having a huge sale right now on discontinued and seasonal products. Prices about 75% - 90% off! If anyone is intersted in seeing what's for sale, email me ASAP. They will go fast!

Anything else you'd like to know? Formspring me!

Formspring Answers

If you participated in my Formspring debut (bless you!), you may be interested in seeing the answers to your questions. Or you may have just wanted to relieve the guilt you would have felt for not asking, in which case skip right over this post.


Questions Answered


Sample Question:If you had your own talk show, who would your first three guests be?
This is a boring question. Why did I ask myself this? Next!


Do you think you will make it to the end of your diet, without tearing all your hair out with craving for carbs?
Oh, I already did that part. I now have a good wig and should be able to make it to the end of my diet just fine. :) (Honestly, it's not bad anymore)


Why do you feel you need a diet? After all you look amazing as you are.
Well, thank you. You are so kind. But unless you've seen me naked and not photoshopped for my blog, I think you are just judging the I'm-very-good-at-dressing-for-my-body-shape me. I'd like to turn into I-am-comfortable-on-a-stripper-pole me. And that equals -10 lbs.

What does your husband do for his job exactly?
Hey, this isn't about that dork. This is about ME. Next!


What would you do with an extra day in the week? Consider this day free of all current responsibilities.
That depends. Does this day also have my kids and husband in it? Or is it a day in the Twilight Zone when I am alone. If so, THIS is what I would do. I would be online all day, except when I was sleeping in and napping. And there might be a bath with reading involved.


As a parent, what are you vigilant about, and what are you relaxed about?
I am vigilant about manners. And danger. Street danger, stranger danger, choking danger, wearing plaid with stripes danger, that sort of thing. I'm not so vigilant about germs. I just don't care much about them. I mean, I don't recommend my kids stick their fingers up other kids' noses or anything. But then again, if the kid doesn't have a cold....


Why isn't anyone asking me anything?
They are, stupid. You just don't know how to log in and check your questions.


Which is your favorite toe?
My pinkie toe, of course. Not that I don't love my two-headed monster toes, but the pinky is just so small and stubby and has such a tiny delicate, slit-like nail. What's not to love?


What was your favorite TV show as a child?
Wonder Woman. That hot starry blue bustier just did it for me.


Would you rather own a luxury yacht or a private jet?
Jet, for sure. You can't sail from here to Texas.


How would you describe your style?
Incredibly not foo-foo meets scorn for labels

Wow, that was fun! Who's up for some more? Ask me anything!


p.s. Only two more days to send me my birthday present prepare to wish me happy birthday. No, I am obviously not above groveling for comments /birthday wishes. What else is your stupid 36th birthday good for?!?

Do You Formspring?

Perhaps I flatter myself in thinking that people care that much about learning things about me, but when I saw Formspring on her blog and her blog, I was super jealous intrigued and I had to try it!

So if you'd like to ask me an anonymous question and have me answer it here, on my blog, please visit this link.


PLEEEEEASE?

Easy Reader

I have been going to the library lately. I feel so very cultured. I'm not sure why I haven't ever gone. I think I've been to my library twice in the 7 years I've lived here. But suddently I've been reading a lot and taking my kids to the library with me to pick out books. But what I've discovered is that there are a LOT of children's books. And they're not organized by subject or even age group so as to make them easy to pick out for your kids. No, they have 12 year old books grouped in with picture books and everything inbetween. So I want to ask a favor. Those of you who have/have had small children, would you rummage around in your kids' rooms/memory and suggest some titles to me of books that your kids have loved (younger ages)? I want to make more out of our trips to the library. Not that I didn't love Daphne's recent pick, "Bugs And How to Disect Them," but I think Beck was a little grossed out.

Thanks.

Skinny Jeans

The other day I did something kind of stupid. I ordered some jeans online. Sight unseen. Not tried on. Front view picture only. But they were on clearance, 50% off at store I like that was going out of business, so I just couldn't resist. But on clearance, they were still $45. Not cheap. At least not for me. I'm not one of those girls who will spend $180 on jeans. For me, the $60 I spent on my very favorite Express jeans was a LOT. Until last year, I used to only buy jeans for under $30. So $45 feels like a lot to me.

Well, the jeans arrived this week. And guess what? They're too tight. They go on (with quite a bit of jumping), they zip shut (with quite a bit of sucking in), but, let's face it--they are too tight to wear comfortably. I even got the larger of the two sizes that I'm between right now. But these jeans are obviously built for much skinnier girls. Girls who, despite wearing my size, are much skinnier than me. They have no fat on their thighs. No butt. And certainly no hint of a tummy pooch. These women that the jeans have been designed for are also 5'10". There's about 5-6 inches of jean below my foot when I put them on. And they're the regular length, not the tall! So yeah, they're cute jeans, but I just can't wear them. Only super models (slightly overweight super models) can wear them. And they can't be returned or exchanged. So now I have a dilemma. Tell me what you would do...

A) Find someone you know who can fit the jeans and give them to her as a gift.
B) Try to sell them online
C) Hold on to them and hope that if you lose 5 lbs, and decide to start wearing stiletto heals with jeans, they will fit you perfectly.

Thoughts?

Pie On The Brain

So I'm in charge of making mashed potatoes and pie for our family Thanksgiving dinner. Mashed potatoes are no problem. Easy peasy. But pie is a bit more work. So I've been thinking about which pie, and which recipe, to make. It lead me to the following question:

What's your favorite pie?

It doesn't have to be a Thanksgiving pie. I just wondered what everyone else likes when they think pie.

I like pecan. I also like chocolatey confections with several layers. If the apple pie is fresh and well-made, I like apple. But I'm pretty picky about apple pies because most of them are gross. Sour cream berry pies are good. Pumpkin? NO THANKS. Blech.

What about you?

Bookworm or techgeek?

Would you read using a Kindle? Why or why not?

Beds

Hard or Soft?



.

Eggnog

Yes or no?

I Swear This is a HYPOTHEICAL Question

If you had an annoying personality trait that you weren't aware of, would you want someone to tell you about it? Even if it was painful to hear? Or would you rather not know, even if it meant you would go on losing friends or bugging people and not know why?

(HYPOTHETICALLY!)

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Wishing I Were Elsewhere

Question: What is the best vacation spot you've ever been to. Part 2) Why?

For me it probably has to be Cancun. PERFECT white sand beaches. Absolutely gorgeous turquoise water, about 90 degrees. Enough surf to body surf without being rough. And we stayed at an all-inclusive resort. Not having to fight about where to eat or stress over how much dessert or appetizers will tack on to the meal was priceless. Well, no, it was an extra $375. And worth every penny.

.

A Question of Viewpoint

Does it make me a little demented that I get excited when I have the runs really bad because of the potential weight loss?

What To Do

If you live in Utah or have ever visited Utah or ever plan on visiting Utah, you may be able to answer this question:

What are the most fun things to do in Utah (SLC area)? If you had family coming to town, what would you plan for them to do while they're here? (Note: said family used to live here, so tourist stuff is out. I'm thinking purely fun stuff. Kid appropriate or grown-up oriented.) Early July is the time, so think summmer stuff.

Thanks!

Cause I Said So

I meant to do this post for Mother's Day, but, as my Australian friend always says, "I couldn't be bothered." So here it is now....



You always hear of these little pieces of advice that mothers are known for giving their kids. My next door neighbor growing up, Kelly Matelski,'s mom always told her to wear fresh underwear when she went out, in case she was in an accident and they had to take her to the hospital. I never really got that one. But her mother worked in an ER, so maybe she knew something I don't.

My husband's grandmother, Neenie, always used say not to pluck your gray hairs or seven of its friends would come to its funeral. I didn't listen to that one, and I'm pretty sure she was right.

The only advice I can remember my mom always telling me was to be sure to wear lots of blush for photos or you'll look washed out. Very good advice, by the way.

What little truisms did your mother always tell you?


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What Happens When There is Too Much Laundry?

The answer is, you get a lame post like this while I fold clothes:

I want to know how you all met your spouse.

See? Quick and painless. Now back to the whites...


Oh, and as for me, we met at a restaurant. I was a waitress, he was my boss. We didn't date then, though. We were both in other relationships then. But we ran into each other about 4 or 5 months after I stopped working there. I had just gotten back in town from a semester abroad and went to my storage unit to get some stuff. He coincidentally had a storage unit in the same building. We passed each other, me driving out, him driving in. Then we stopped our cars, looked out the windows at each other, and....the rest, as they say, is history!

Selective Amnesia?

So imagine it was your birthday. And the whole family had gotten together—grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins—to celebrate yours and several other birthdays that clustered around the same time of the year. And imagine there was a certain member of the family who got presents for everyone else whose birthday was being celebrated, but not yours. And imagine this same person had forgotten your birthday at least two years consecutive to this one. Maybe three. Yet you had remembered their birthday, their spouse’s birthday, and all their kids’ birthdays, every year. Would you be offended? Would you assume that they didn’t like you? Or that they were just careless and didn’t notice (yours is the earliest of the birthdays being celebrated)? Again? Would you decided it was time to make a statement and “forget” their birthday? Or would you assume there was some reasonable explanation for it and you should just let it slide?

The Ultimate Quiz

Why do I always feel like I need a preamble before starting a blog quiz? Well, I do. And this one's preamble is to say..

You know me. I always love a good blog quiz. And I especially like this one because it is quirky, nonsensical, and I actually had to think about the answers! Thanks, Andre.

1. Do you prefer to listen to Kenny G or Michael Bolton? If I HAD to choose one, Michael Bolton. But I'd probably rather have my ears shot off.

2. Would you prefer bad morning breath on you or your partner? Me. Unless it comes with bad morning taste. Then him. I'd just stay far away.

3. Would you rather be blind or deaf? I'd have to say deaf. I'm not very good at feeling my way around in the dark. I bash into stuff a lot.

4. Would you rather eat a chocolate covered ant or homemade whole wheat bread? The chocolate part is verytempting, but....I am going with the bread.

5. Would you rather step in a fresh pile of cow manure or a buzzing mound of fire ants? Do I have shoes on? Then the ants. No shoes? Um, still gotta go with the ants.

6. Would you rather be permanently illiterate or permanently unable to speak? Definitely unable to speak. My sweet typing skillz would make up for that.

7. Would you rather live without the Internet or TV? TV for sure. I'm almost to the point of wanting to live without TV right now. Sure, I'd miss it. But I couldn't live w/o my internet.

8. Would you rather be the best looking person in the world but also the dumbest, OR the smartest person in the world but also the ugliest? This is a tough one. I would have to go with the best looking but dumbest. Not because I'm vain. But because if I were the smartest person in the world, I'd be so keenly aware of my hideous personage that it would make me all the more depressed when people ran and screamed upon seeing me. At least if I was fabulously beautiful and dumb, I could please others from a distance. And I'd be too stupid to know I was super stupid.

9. Would you rather give up eating food with sugar or salt? SALT!!! What kind of insane question is that??? As if I'd give up sugar, mumble mumble CRAZY mumble in love with sugar mumble....

10. Ignoring all other factors except humidity, would you rather live somewhere dry like, let's say, uh, Utah, or somewhere humid like, um, Houston? I would probably go with humid. I kind of like the feeling of humidity. It does make my hair frizzy, but it makes my skin wonderfully clear. Besides, I breathe better in humidity. But if the place had a winter, I'd choose dry. Because humid and cold are a combination I gave up for good when I left Michigan, and I'm never going back.

11. Would you rather read other people's online quizzes or take them yourself? Take them myself, for sure. I do like to read other people's answers, but I enjoy the introspection of answering for myself most.

Well, that was an interesting quiz, Andre. Very different from any others I've done. Anyone else looking for a fun way to kill your Saturday? Then you're IT! (As in, tagged, no as in you're ultra cool and everyone wants to be you. Though you might be that too. I have no idea. If it is the case, please give me your address and phone number so you and I can hang out more. I could use a few more ultra cool friends to make me look good by association.)

The $300 Question - Answered

So, yes, I did suddnely come into a vast fortune of $300. And because it came out of the blue and wasn't part of my budget, I wanted to make sure to blow it on something fun, something I'd never usually spend money on. Something I'd get major guilt for if I ever spent $300 of my monthly stipend on it. So here's what I did...


1) I bought a new guitar for our Rock Band. I discovered a guitar online that will work with both the Wii Rock Band and Wii Guitar Hero. No, I don't actually HAVE Guitar Hero. I am going to have to wait for another windfall for that. I'm planning ahead. So this guitar will be the bass guitar to complete my band (The Mollies and Peters) when I play Rock Band, and, should I ever actually get Guitar Hero, I won't have to buy a new guitar.

2) I bought more soap making supplies. I was clean out of soap base, I was NOT satisfied with my Robert's crafts soap dyes, which bleed like a....well, I'll leave out the gross analogies and just say that they bleed a lot. And I wanted to beef up my selection of both molds and scents. So I got.

1) a leaf mold with 5 small and various leaf designs
2) a mold made of oval shaped "stones" with chinese symbols
3) a mold with little animal heads-- monkey, pig, etc.
4) pumkin pie scent (which actually smells more like hot buttered rum or something)
5) Goergoe Peach scent
6) Honey Bear scent, which unfortunately smells a lot more like baby powder than honey or bears
7) Grapefruit scent, since the one I had dumped all over my bag.
8) Pink Sugar scent. Mmmmm....
9) Chamomile scent, which I am NOT pleased with. Unless it changes drastically when it is in soap, it doesn't smell anything like chamomile.
10) 8 new liquid soap dyes
11) 3 blocks of shea butter soap base and 2 blocks of goats milk, plus a tub of clear glycerin soap base





Blowing money sure feels good. Soap making party, anyone?