Thursday, August 21, 2008

Beat Up

I used to worry that someone would call child protective services on me and accuse me of beating up my kids if they ever looked at the number and frequency of bruises and scratches all over them. Here are pictures of both of their heads from yesterday, for example:




Neither one was inflicted by me. One was the fault of gravity (Beck biting it going down the porch steps, head first) and the other was the fault of inertia (the big heavy door to the play area at Carl's Jr. hitting Daphne in the head when she was doddling going through it).

But if that isn't proof enough, just take a look at my own body. I'm always covered in bruises myself. It's partially a predisposition in my family towards bruising, especially on the lower half of the body. My legs, hips, and bum are always covered in bruises. It's also a propensity towards klutziness I guess. Because you've got to bump yourself to get a bruise. Evidently I do it a lot. Here is my latest doozie:



The sad thing about this one, and I'm not sure how well the picture shows it, is that it is HUGE, very swollen like a goose egg, with a big scratch in the middle of the bruise, AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I DID IT. How do you get a huge swollen scratched bruise on your calf and have no idea how you did it??? You'd think something like that would register in your mind. But I guess it happens to me so much that I don't even pay attention anymore. I laid in bed last night for 20 minutes trying to think of how I did it. Trying to think of when I first noticed the pain and what in my house is that exact height on my leg. I came up with several pieces of furniture that height, but I had no memory of running into any of them. Bizarre.

So anyway, I"m pretty sure if anyone ever calls child protective services on me, my own array of bruises will convince them that I'm not a child abuser. Good luck to my husband, though!

15 comments:

devri said...

My child broke her arm, I thought people would say that about me, but little did I know the next month I broke mine, well (true story) they went to bishop and told them that my husband was abusing us all....

devri said...

ps. I am the BIGGEST clutz!!!

Kristine said...

What a mean mommy! No, I worry about the same things - LOL! But I will admit that I threw a "little people" toy at Josh yesterday which hit him in the face unfortunately and now he has a bruise and small cut under his eye. :( I was sick and tired of him throwing them at my head so I threw one back. Very mature, I know. I wasn't even aiming. I still feel bad every time I look at him.

CaraDee said...

Hey, I know...Why don't you keep posting about how much we're the exact same person?

And I believe every Mom has said, "I hope CPS doesn't come to my house and look at my kids."

CaraDee said...

Hey, I know...Why don't you keep posting about how much we're the exact same person?

And I believe every Mom has said, "I hope CPS doesn't come to my house and look at my kids."

Jen said...

Mason and I have the same problem. We got it from my mom's side. My grandma always has huge bruises. I gues thats one reason I knew I would bruise while doing the IVF. I also have no idea how most if not all I my many bruises.

jennie w. said...

Sorry about the bruises! I can't believe how blond the kids have gotten.

Christie said...

We're a very clumsy family as well, and no one has called child services on us either ((knock on wood)) - not even when both of my girls dislocated their elbows.

Misty said...

Don't worry, I am accident prone, along with my kid too. I think kids just don't have a care in the world....even gravity doesn't bother them!

Chelsea said...

I'm a bruiser too. In high school one of my teachers took me aside one day and asked me if there was anything going on at home that I wanted to talk about. I had no idea what he was getting at until he tactfully pointed out my bruised up legs. Nope, no abuse, just clumsiness, working with horses, and probably genetics.

Mindi said...

i already placed a call to dcfs--they will stop by tomorrow. after they check on your polyg neighbor and her sister wives...

welcome to senility!! i've been there for about 5 or 6 years and i've TOTALLY had that conversation with myself in bed, wondering why i don't remember.....yikes!

MiaKatia said...

Oh man I know how you feel. We always have a big fall or accident right before a Doctor's appointment. Thankfully my doc know that kids are kids and things happen.

Tiburon said...

Well done! I took Amelia to her 18 month appt and my ped said "I see she has the requisite bruising on her shins..."

Niiiiiice

Holly said...

I will have to show you Landons legs. He looks like he has a disease they are so spotty with bruises. I totally feel like someones gonna turn me in, but that kid is destructive!

alex dumas said...

Also a bruiser here. Maybe we don't get enough potassium in the diet.