True Love

So I was doing my morning check of my iGoogle stuff (I say it like it's a daily ritual, but if you read my blog you'll know that's a lie. I just set it up yesterday.), which is never a good idea to do while your kids (kid, actually--the other one is still sleeping like a good child should at 8:30am) are awake. I could hear him playing with glass pebbles on the bathroom floor, dumping them from one decorative bronze cup to another--a little activity I set up for my kids at this age so they will leave me alone while I'm online. But then I got distracted with reading a funny new blog I found (Every Day I Write the Book) and suddenly realized that I couldn't hear the tink-tink of glass pebbles anymore. Never a good sign. I listened and could faintly hear a swishing sound and knew just what it meant: Beck was in The Crapper (the term my husband affectionately made up for the little toilet room off our main bathroom). I went in there ready to discipline him for playing in the toilet but was stopped dead in my tracks by the 3 inch snot bungee jumper hanging from his nose-lip-chin. EW! Hard to get all mad while staring at that! But once I got it wiped up, then I noticed that not only was Beck playing in the toilet water, he'd gotten inventive: This time he was using the bronze cup to empty the toilet water onto the floor! So smart. So I tried to discipline him, but I know this kid is not like my first born--he doesn't care if I get mad. At least, it doesn't deter him. As I was scrubbing his arms down with lye (just kidding, it was espresso scented foaming soap) and contemplating a more permanant solution to keeping him out of the toilet, I noticed an awful stench coming from his general direction. So I went to change his diaper, and it was a poopsplosion. All over the inside of his pajamas and down his legs. (I would worry about grossing my readers out, but I know that 99% of my readers are women with kids, so this is nothing new to you.) I stripped him down, threw him in the shower (where he is probably freezing by now because he's still in there as I write this) and threw his clothes away. (If you'll read the blog posted above, entry "Parental Advice" you'll see that I'm a quick learner). So my point to all this? I cleaned up a huge snot, toilet arms, and poop all within a 60 second period of time. Now THAT, my friends, is true love.