Sunday, June 21, 2009

Proof Of Absence

So I mentioned that my brain was going on vacation. Afterward, I got some comments that lead me to believe I may not have been very clear. I did not go on vacation. Just my brain. The rest of me is still here, sweeping up mashed Ritz crackers and picking chartreuse play-doh out of the carpet.


I also thought I might offer some proof as to the complete absence of my brain during the last day and a half.


Article 1 for your consideration: I drove to downtown-ish Salt Lake for my dance lesson. About 1/3 of the way there, traffic got a little thick. So I jumped in the car pool lane and proceeded to drive there for the next 25 minutes, uninhibited by the lesser mortals in the regular lanes. Unfortunately, I realized only as I was getting out of the carpool lane to exit the freeway that I was alone in the car. In the Mini Cooper, a car which you couldn't hide a second passenger in if you only carried midgets. What was I thinking??? I tell you what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. MY BRAIN IS IN CANCUN, people. So....do you think a cop would have let me off if I tried to explain about my brain being on vacation?

Article 2: After dance class, I drove home (in the far right lane the whole way, trying to appease karma and the moving violation gods), watched some TV with Big Daddy, and got ready for bed. I looked around for my keys so I could lock my car, but I couldn't find them. I was too tired to do a thorough look, so I just used the remote on my spare to lock the car. The next day, after doing some yard work, I found my keys. Here....




Yes, that is the exterior of the front door. And yes, I left them there all night and most of the next day.

I sure hope my brain is getting a nice tan while my life goes to hell here.

11 comments:

tiburon said...

Let me know if yours comes back from vacation. Mine left about 9 years ago. Haven't seen it since.

Kristina P. said...

I wish my brain and my body could go on vacation.

Vanessa said...

YOu are so lucky you didn't have a home invasion! But would it really be called a home invasion if the keys are in the door?

Chelsea said...

My brain must be on perma-vacation, because I have done both of those more than once!

Koreena said...

Nice. You're so lucky no one else took your keys. Hope your brain is having a good time on vacation. :)

MiaKatia said...

Yikes!!! I am not so worried about the carpool lane, but the keys in the front door is a biggie. Hope your brain gets back soon.

SO said...

I hope the moving violation gods were appeased.

I have so done that with my keys before. Thankfully we live in a nice quiet neighborhood.

I hope your brain comes back off of vacay soon.

Sara said...

I can't stop laughing, and just maybe that's where my brain went too, only it never came back.

L. said...

Oh, my poor little brain-free girl! Glad you all made it through the night without robbers, rapists, and misguided drunks sacking out on your couch. I'm ESPECIALLY glad nobody stole your sparkly thing. I like to look at it.

Melissa said...

Suck down another pina colada. That's all you need.

André said...

Thank goodness no one stole your sparkly key chain.