Poor Girl

I have this friend. Yeah, um, a girl I knew in high school. Her mom was the seminary teacher (scripture study for the young people at church). She lived in a state without a lot of Mormons, so seminary was always held at the teacher's or some other member's house rather than at church or at a seminary building on the school campus like it is in Utah. Seminary started at 6am. STARTED. Which meant that the kids who went had to get up at 5:30 or earlier just to get to seminary on time. When my mom, uh, I mean my friend's mom, taught seminary, she felt really sorry for the kids who had to get up super early, drive 15 or 20 minutes in the freezing, icy cold Michigan weather, just to talk about scriptures. So she sweetened the deal, quite literally, with hot chocolate and occasionally hot-from-the-oven coffee cake. A big pitcher of hot chocolate and a bunch of mugs would sit on the dining room table. The kids that arrived there on time got to help themselves to the treats and then cozy their pajama'ed selves down on the couch. Those who arrived later got to sit in the hard dining room chairs. Me? I mean, my friend? She just rolled out of bed and onto the back row of dining room chairs where she could sit and doze without being noticed. It was at this time in my her life that my friend discovered that hot chocolate had negative effects on her body. One in particular. GAS. Not stinky gas. I wouldn't embarrass her by telling her story on the internet for all to read if she had stinky gas. This was just the belly-full-of-air kind. So my friend would just sit at the very back of the rows of chairs in seminary and sip hot chocolate and let 'em rip. SILENTLY, of course. She wasn't gross. Eventually, she decided it wasn't worth the constant subterfuge and she gave up hot chocolate all together. What a sad story. To have to give up hot chocolate at such a young age? It's a downright tragedy! Well, there is a moral here. Or rather, a happy ending. My friend discovered, years later, that hot vanilla does not have the same effects as hot chocolate. What is hot vanilla, you ask? It's just like hot chocolate, only vanilla-y-er. And so she'd like me to pass on the message to any other unfortunate people who might share her gastronomical issues. Hot vanilla. OH, and she said she recommends Stephen's French Vanilla.

p.s. If you want to leave a comment, I'll pass on your appreciation for this information. To her.