Dancing With The Stars Review - Week 1

This is where you realize how entirely pitiful your life is, when you start blogging about not just watching a show or enjoying a show, but making detailed, play by play commentary on a show, like it's real and has any relevance whatsoever to your life. Whatever. So I'm lame. If you are far more intellectual and so above television than I am, move on. And have fun with your intellectual, elitest, entertainment-free prison of a life. As for the rest of you, enjoy my review of Dancing With The Stars, Week 1....

Aaron Carter (Karina Smirnoff) - Have no idea who he is, but he seemed to have some amount of natural rhythm. I think he'll probably do OK. Plus, he has the young vote, which seemed to help Shawn Johnson quite a bit.

Kathy Ireland (Tony Dovolani) - You should be very impressed when I tell you that my dance teacher is super good friends with Tony Dovolani. Cause that makes me just 2 degrees away from being on SWTS. As for Kathy, can you say stiff? She doesn't appear to be completely without rhythm, but she sure is booooring. She would be my top girl pick to leave.

Michael Irvin (Anna Demidova) - Usually the football stars do surprisingly well. But Michael is no Emitt Smith and definitely no Jerry Rice. He does seem to have some dancing ability, but I'm not super impressed yet. On the other hand, he does have personality.

Ashley Hamilton (Edyta Slivinska) - Blech. Glad he's gone (sorry if you didn't know). My husband, on the other hand, will be very, very disappointed. Mostly because his partner was the hottest and also most scantily clad woman on television.

Kelly Osbourne (Louis Van Amstel) - The surprise of the evening, for sure. Some people you can guess that they'll do well, but I had little faith in her, even (especially) after watching the preview "package". she was all over the place in rehearsals. And then she came out and looked so good in her Viennese Waltz and Cha Cha! Her legs were superb.

Chuck Liddel (Anna Trebunskaya) - Chuck? More like upchuck. NOT impressed. Mostly his hair bugs me. And his dancing. And his face. Can you tell I'm not a fan?

Debi Mazar (Maksim Chmerkovskiy) - Poor girl. She is very insecure on the dance floor and has a long way to go. I felt bad for her cause I think they were really hard on her. But I think she has more potential than she is currently showing. I hope she makes it a few weeks cause I could see serious improvements in her future.

Donny Osmond (Kym Johnson) - Wow. I really can't believe he got such low scores. He did so much better than what they gave him credit for. Seriously. Now I don't know how his sister did so well in her season. She was no dancer. It must have been popularity. And that makes me wonder if he'll follow in her footsteps. But so far I think he's the better dancer.


Joanna Krupa (Derek Hough) - Again, who? But at least she can dance. usually the models do pretty badly on the show. But good body + good teacher + some natural talent = she might go pretty far on this show.

Louis Vito (Chelsea Hightower) - Seriously, where do they find these people? What the hell is someone no one has ever heard of, with that little dance capability, doing on a dance show??? I know they want to capture the young vote, but seriously! I hope he gets voted off fast. It was painful to watch. As painful as when I broke my arm snowboarding. Listen, Louis, I'll stay off your mountain if you stay off my dance floor.


Mark Dakascos (Lacey Schwimmer) - I feel like this season has more people I've never heard of than ever before. But at least this guy can dance. I think he will definitely be in the running to reach the semi-finals.


Melissa Joan Hart (Mark Ballas) - Um...I'm not feeling it. Yet. I'm not saying she's bad. But I'm not saying she's that good either. And she seems so DULL. Why is it that some of these actresses just seem so lifeless?



Tom DeLay (Cheryl Burke) - Poor Cheryl. I ditto my comment to you, Tom, that I made to Louis. You stay off my dance floor, and I'll stay out of politics.


Natalie Coughlin (Alec Mazo) - Potential. Serious potential. I might list her up there as one of my top picks to win it. She's got the work ethic, some natural rhythm, good body....yeah, she could go far.


Mya (Dmitri Chaplin) - Mya, Mya, Mya. First you have this amazing clear, pure voice that blows my socks off every time I hear it even though I'm really not into your music. And then you come out with all this grace, elegance, charm....oh my. I see a mirror ball trophy in your future.


Macy Gray (Johnathan Roberts) - When I heard that Macy was going to be on the show, my first reaction was, "Seriously??" Then when I saw her warm-up package, I thought yikes. I could see that she had some rhythm, but she was so tall and gangley. And they put her with the most white-bread, soul-free teacher on the show. Talk about no chemistry. But I was AMAZED when she did that waltz that her arms were fluid and graceful, her feet were tentative, but not awful. I was so pleasantly surprised. And I think if she could be a bit more confident out there, she could end up surprising people for quite a few episodes.

So what are your thoughts? Any performances you liked or disliked? Picks to win it? Outfits you plan on copying for church this Sunday? Do tell!