Sunday, July 6, 2008

Peeing Scared


You know what makes me so scared I almost get stage fright and can't pee? Restaurant bathrooms that are only one room--no stalls--right off the main dining room. Because those kind of bathrooms ALWAYS have the kind of door locks that are a little button you push in on the handle. That kind of lock just doesn't say "security" to me. You can't jiggle the handle to check that it is locked, because the mechanism that makes it unlock is turning the handle. And they only go in an imperceptible amount when you push them so that there is no really clear sign that they are locked. So you have to pull down your pants and face the door that opens directly into the dining room and pray with every fiber of your being to the Almighty God that no one will try to open the door while you're using the bathroom. Because even if that door lock holds when they try to open it, which I'm always sure it won't, it still will give you a heart attack when the handle jiggles from the outside. WHY CAN'T RESTAURANTS JUST PUT A NICE BIG SLIDING BAR OF METAL ON THE DOOR THAT CAN'T BE BUSTED OPEN WITHOUT CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT? And, get this, I ate at a restaurant the other day that had the stall-less ladies room opening directly onto the dining area AND IT HAD A SMOKED GLASS WINDOW ON IT!!! Are you freaking kidding me??? I held my bladder for an additional 15 minutes and then missed the first 4 minutes of my movie just so I wouldn't have to go pee pee in that bathroom from hell. People, seriously. Is this bathroom thing so hard?

10 comments:

Sara said...

There is nothing worse than public bathrooms, except maybe no bathroom at all!

MiaKatia said...

Does this make your fourth or fifth post about bathrooms ;)

*jimaie.marie* said...

this had me Laughing out loud!!
oh man, i HATE public bathrooms! If it's not one thing, it's always another so i try SO hard to avoid them but it can't always be done.
but ugh, i hate the push button locks!

jennie w. said...

Where on earth did you find a picture of an airport bathroom lock?

Christie said...

I have enough issues with public restrooms as it is. Restrooms like that freak me out!

Omgirl said...

I believe this is my fourth post about bathrooms. Just wait, I'll come up with a couple more and you can officially call me obsessed.

Jennie: google images!

André said...

I have this same fear and if the toilet is close enough to the door, I'll stand (I do have that advantage) with my foot blocking the door.

Suzanne said...

You had asked me to let you know if I made a "Dwipe" with a geometric pattern. I added one to my blog today -- so you might want to check it out. justanotherhangup.blogspot.com

thanks! - Suzanne

Tiburon said...

You really do have bathroom issues.

alex dumas said...

I think you're obsessed. Maybe you need a Stadium Pal. For women.