Peeing Scared

You know what makes me so scared I almost get stage fright and can't pee? Restaurant bathrooms that are only one room--no stalls--right off the main dining room. Because those kind of bathrooms ALWAYS have the kind of door locks that are a little button you push in on the handle. That kind of lock just doesn't say "security" to me. You can't jiggle the handle to check that it is locked, because the mechanism that makes it unlock is turning the handle. And they only go in an imperceptible amount when you push them so that there is no really clear sign that they are locked. So you have to pull down your pants and face the door that opens directly into the dining room and pray with every fiber of your being to the Almighty God that no one will try to open the door while you're using the bathroom. Because even if that door lock holds when they try to open it, which I'm always sure it won't, it still will give you a heart attack when the handle jiggles from the outside. WHY CAN'T RESTAURANTS JUST PUT A NICE BIG SLIDING BAR OF METAL ON THE DOOR THAT CAN'T BE BUSTED OPEN WITHOUT CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT? And, get this, I ate at a restaurant the other day that had the stall-less ladies room opening directly onto the dining area AND IT HAD A SMOKED GLASS WINDOW ON IT!!! Are you freaking kidding me??? I held my bladder for an additional 15 minutes and then missed the first 4 minutes of my movie just so I wouldn't have to go pee pee in that bathroom from hell. People, seriously. Is this bathroom thing so hard?