Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Why I Hate August



It's not poor August's fault. It tries to be a good month, on the whole. Warm without being as blazing hot as July. Sometimes even pleasantly and cool and balmy. Its mornings are milder. Its evenings are softer. Its skies are just as blue in the day and just as sapphire in the night. Its stars shine just as brightly and its crickets chirp just as loudly. But August has one majorly glaring fault: It is the harbinger of death. DEATH of summer. DEATH of warmth. DEATH of vacation. DEATH, in short, of all that is virtuous, lovely, and of good report and praise-worthy.

When I was a kid, I hated August because I knew that school would be starting soon. When I was a teacher, I hated August because I knew that school would be starting soon. And now, even though I am neither student nor teacher, I can't help but go into a sense of panic when August hits. In fact, the fear hits earlier than August. It hits about late April. Because late April is when things really start to warm up. And once they warm up, it means summer is almost here. And summer, as we all know, has less hours and minutes and seconds in its days than all the other times of year. It flies faster and is over sooner. So as soon as it turns May, summer really has one foot in the grave. I mean, it's practically winter already!!!

I know that this is neurotic of me. I know I should just kick back and enjoy May, June and July. And I try! Honestly I do. And I usually manage to hold back the hysteria.......until August. But then it unleashes itself it it's full joy-killing glory. After August comes bare trees, dead flowers, cold weather, ice, snow, scraping the car, wearing bulky coats, getting sick, cold weather, putting on weight, having to leave my warm house, having to leave my warm bed, cold weather....everything I hate about life. And it all begins to begin in August.

And that, my friends, is why August and I will never get along.

15 comments:

Devri said...

Me and August get along, that means no more kids whining that they are bored! But this year has felt like we only had a month of summer. ugh! When I was outside last night, I felt fall coming.. ugh!

Kristina P. said...

August is useless! I do love September.

Chelsea said...

I totally agree!! Except that August in the DC area is usually even hotter than July. Even so, I can't stand the thought of summer being over!

Koreena said...

I love August! But it may have to do with the fact that it's my birthday month. :)

Vanessa said...

I also freak out because I think I need to go get my classroom ready. And then I remember that I don't have a classroom anymore. (and wonder if I will ever go back)

Bring on the snow. I hate it.

MiaKatia said...

August is the peak of sweltering here, and we don't leave the house because we sweat walking out the door. So if I didn't have 5 family birthdays this month, August would be on my hit list too.

alex dumas said...

Carpe diem, I say.

Sara said...

Funny. I love August. Maybe it's because most of my kids are older and that means no more messes all day, no more fighting or tantrums. No more whinning there's nothing to do. I love school. I have a little bit of my life back!

Jaime Haney aka ArtsyFartsy.Me said...

I'm glad I'm not the only nut-job out there. I am guilty too, of thinking way back in May that summer will be gone! But we're right! Summer is gone in a flash! and the older I get the more I hate summer leaving! I hate cold. I hate even chilly. I'd rather sweat than freeze, but then maybe ask me again when I go through menopause. :) You are so hilarious.

M-Cat said...

Oh poor August, I will just have to love it double for you. It happens to be my favorite month!

L. said...

Just remember: THIS AUGUST is the month you'll wow them in Las Vegas in your gold dress with your sexy hip-moves! VIVA, AUGUST! VIVA LAS VEGAS (oh, Elvis already did that).

WATCH OUT, "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!" ONE HOT ARIANNE COMIN' THROUGH!

Ben said...

Maybe you should move to Florida where it is always summer.

I thrive on the ebb and flow of seasons. Just when I'm getting tired of one, the next one rolls along.

Tiffany said...

Amen. Amen. Amen.

tiburon said...

I love August. Summer is drawing to a close. School starts. Depeche Mode. NYC. Nickelback...

Bring it!

André said...

How do you feel about September, then?