Thursday, April 14, 2011

Parenting For Lazy People



You know how every birthday and Christmas you try to have one big, awesome present to top all the rest? A pièce de résistance, if you will? Well, last Christmas, it was bunnies. Real, live, baby bunnies. Nothing could top that, we knew. But we also knew that Beck would most likely be terrified of the bunnies (he was, uh, still is) and that Daphne would be so infatuated with them that we'd have to limit her 1 on 1 time with them in order to preserve their lives (we've already had at least one incident that ended with bunny blood being spilt). So we wanted to provide some other super fun gift that would not lose its novelty so fast and which might actually provide some educational value. Racking my brain, a few days before Christmas I came across the Leapfrog Tag system. Quickly, and without reading any reviews (shame on me!), I ordered a Leapfrog Tag Reading System from Amazon that came with 12 different books. I ordered it fast mail for $12 extra dollars so the kids could have it in time for Christmas.

On Christmas, the Leapfrog Tag reading system was not under the tree. It arrived FOUR DAYS after Christmas, even though the cat drinking fountain filters I ordered 2 days before Christmas, not for Flossie's Christmas present, and not with expedited shipping, arrived Christmas Eve. Boo hisss!

But seeing as how most of the presents on Christmas morning tend to blend into one mad, chaotic scene and lose their potency, I figured having the kids open this present a few days later wouldn't be such a bad thing. Plus, it would give the bunnies a few day to take center stage and then be forgotten (yep).

Well, flash forward four months....That leapfrog system gets even less play than the now rather large bunnies. It is the stupidest invention ever! Let me give you my mock commercial for this device:

"Parents, want to avoid spending any time with your kids at all while pretending they're learning how to read? Then get the Leapfrog Tag System! The included electronic pen will allow your kids to touch all the pictures in the page to hear their sound effects over and over until you want to shoot yourself, or let them push the "read" button so the text is read allowed by a sterile mechanical voice, while ensuring that they never push the tiny diamond at the end of the text that lets them sound out the words or hear the letter sounds. So you will never have to read to your kids again AND they will never get any closer to learning how to read. Perfect!"

Ya, that pretty much sums it up. So let me make a recommendation for any of you with young children for the next birthday or Christmas: Don't get the Leapfrog Tag System. Get them cat drinking fountain filters. They'll be much more useful and 99% less guilt-inducing when you toss them in the nearest trash.

6 comments:

CaraDee said...

HA HA I almost bought that for Eamon a couple years ago. I was like, I will NEVER want to do it with him and I know it won't help him, it will only annoy me. ha ha ha ha ha

Bjorge Queen said...

I love amazon.com reviews. Had my mother bothered to read up, she would not have bought the Tangled toddler wig. I took pictures of wading pools at Target the other day which reminds me that I have to read up on them before buying. I miss toys that rely on imagination. Sometimes I think we do our kids a disservice with too many high tech gadgets. Not that I dont enjoy being a crappy parent sometimes.

CNHolmberg said...

Ha ha, how sad....

Bunnies FTW. I'm still hoping someday Jordan will get me a puppy.

L. said...

So, how are the bunnies doing? Does anybody still like or play with them?

Boo-hiss to the Leapfrog Tag game, and aren't we glad for reviews - when we bother to read them!

Sara said...

That's pretty funny!

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