How To Keep From Overspending At Christmas Time

I don't know about you, but I've never walked out of Costco EVER without spending at least $100. Even if I went in there JUST to buy a tray of cocktail shrimp for $9.99 (doesn't everything at Costco cost $9.99??), I always end up throwing a bunch of really good bargains (i.e. super delicious mega sized portions of whatever that lady was handing out at the end of the aisle) into my cart.

So today when I went in for a pack of AA batteries, I came up with a foolproof way to keep from overspending which I will generously share with you: Don't get a cart. That way you can only buy what you can carry.

As it turns out, I can carry quite a bit. 1 pack of AA batteries, 1 giant case of taquitos (hey, we're almost out!), a bag of truffles (teacher gifts are coming up, you know), some wrapping paper (I am addicted. Seriously, disturbingly, ADDICTED to buying Christmas wrapping paper. I'm pretty sure I could wrap all the presents in North America right now. But this paper was so cute...I couldn't resist!), a Christmas music CD two pack (um...no excuse for this one. Just a pure impulse buy) and a giant package of Oreos (you should see my kids inhale Oreos!). I am pretty sure my biceps increased by 2 inches by the time I got to check-out. BUT...only $57! Cha-ching!

So, almost foolproof. You're welcome.

Tigers, Skeletons, and Stuffed Sausages

Here are a few pictures for the friends, relatives, and other random strangers who enjoy pictures of my kids.

(And I can I just say, in case it isn't clear, that I no longer have any input on my kids' choices for costumes? Well, except Pippa's. And let's just say this about hers: It was NOT my first choice. My first choice was a darling bumble bee costume that Costumes4Less was supposed to ship to me between Oct 21 and Oct 26, but who informed me on OCT 27th that, oops!, they didn't actually have that costume in stock. They also informed me that they would "do everything in their power to make it up to me." But when I told them they could ship me a different costume with expedited shipping that they'd pay for themselves, not only did they not do that, they never responded at all! So, for future reference, DO NOT ORDER FROM COSTUMES4LESS!!! They are a terrible terrible company who doesn't mind screwing someone over 3 days before halloween and forcing them to dress their baby in a horrible $5 costume from the local party store which didn't even remotely fit her although it was sized 6 months larger than their baby and which required them to use the shoe covers that came with the costume for a beanie because, though the costume was made for a 1 month old, the shoe covers were made for a 6 year old.)

Phew! I just had to get that out because I told Costumes4Less I would if they didn't come through.

Now on to the lovely, scary, amazing, and very rotund pictures of my kids at Halloween 2011...

The One Thing You Don't Want To Forget To Take On Your Trip

Bathing suit? Check!
Pajamas? Check!
Toiletries? Check!
Socks? Check!
Underwear? Check!
Clothes? Check!
Sunscreen? Check!
Lube? Check! Check!
Cell phone and charger? Check!
Laptop and charger? Check!
Blistex? Check!
Sweater? Check!
15 pairs of shoes for a 4 day trip? Check!
Ok..That's everything.


Now let's go over here by this beautiful waterful, with the sunset and ocean in the background, and have someone take our pict...
CRAP.

Boo Humbug!

I realize that this post is going to make me sound like some kind of cranky Halloween Skelescrooge, but I can't help it. I've got some bones to pick (get it, BONES?) about Halloween and the various way people evidently enjoy spoiling it for small children.

1) No costumes at school. Really, School? Because spending a whole 7 hours in costume is going to monumentally ruin my children's long term education? The absolutely FABULOUS education they're getting? LAME. Can't they even dress up as someone historical to brain up Halloween a little? Sheesh.

2) People not giving out candy. Seriously, how hard is it to give out candy? You spend $3 on treats, turn on your porch light, and start watching TV. Every so often, get up and hand some candy out. What's so hard about that?? Well, evidently it's super hard because this year (and in past years) at least half my neighborhood didn't give out candy. Do you know how lame it is explaining to your kids over and over again that they can't go knock at that dark house because mean weirdos live there who don't like candy or children or holidays?

3) Trunk-or-treat. I'm not sure if they have this where you live, but where I live they have this strange condensed version of Halloween where instead of the kids going door to door, all the people in the neighborhood gather their cars together in a small area like a cul-de-sac or church parking lot, and the kids just go trunk to trunk as the people hand them candy. It's kinda handy if the weather is super cold. And an indoor trunk-or-treat can work well if it's rainy or snowy. But this year it was a balmy 65 degrees. And yet they did a trunk or treat. So that probably explains why the houses were all dark and no one was giving out candy. And why no kids came to my house to eat the loads of candy I bought. Trunk or treat is such a lazy killjoy version of Halloween!

4) Houses who leave their porch lights on but who aren't home. Hello? How long have you been alive?? If you're not participating in Halloween (LAME) then turn your porch light off!

5) Similarly, people who deck their house all out for Halloween with giant spiders on the facade, big blow up Frankensteins in the yard, ghosts hanging from the trees, spooky music playing from a stuffed black cat, skeletons sitting on the porch welcoming you, AND THEN THE PORCH LIGHT IS OUT NO ONE IS HOME. I like to call that FALSE ADVERTISING.

Ok, that pretty much sums it up. Stay tuned in a few weeks for my Thanksgiving and Christmas versions of griping about the holidays and how everyone else does it wrong!

It's Time For a Pipdate!

5 months old. How is that possible? I'm pretty sure 5 months of pregnancy feels like 5 years. And five months of your first child's life feels like at least a year. But for some reason 5 months of your 3rd child's life feels like 3 weeks. Yet here it is.

Pippa is:

GORGEOUS. Something about her is different than my other two kids. I think they had my coloring. So they looked...normal. But Pippa is golden. And pink. And fair. Her skin is so pale, her eyes are still blueish-grey, her hair is so strawberry blond. And she is sooooo plump. She is just different looking than my other babies. And I LOVE to stare at her. She is breath-taking.

BUSY. That girl. That girl! She cannot hold still! She is on the go, she is looking around, she is turning from one side to the other, stretching to reach what is just beyond her hands, above her head, behind her back. She can't quite roll over, but she's close. And trying ALL THE TIME. She's too busy to eat. Any sound makes her head whip around, away from her bottle. She's too busy to sleep. My once easy sleeper wants to roll and turn and grab and look. Sleeping is so passé. Even her binky is so passé. She puts everything (but not her binky) in her mouth. Every gross thing you hand her or she finds near her. She sticks it in her mouth (by way of her eye or nose or cheek, because her coordination isn't quite honed yet). But baby food? Oh no. That makes her face squinch up like you just fed her something crazy. Dirty socks? Acceptable. Sweet potatoes? No way lady.

BIG. 16 pounds big. 9-12 month clothes big! I've never had a big one. I remember my babies both being fat at one point or another, but Daphne was always several sizes behind her age, and Beck was lucky if he was on target most of the time. Pippa? She wears a size 3 diaper and a size 12 jammy. And the rolls on her arms and thighs are delicious.

SWEET. When I kiss her neck and shoulder really fast, when her brother jumps up and down in front of her, when her sister sings her a song, when Daddy throws her in the air, she laughs this sweet laugh, like water trickling down a pebbly stream. Like a small pop of firecrackers. It's perfect. And when I hold her in my arms, and she drinks her bottle, and she looks up at me with this look like I'm the most beautiful, wonderful person in the world....ahhh, then my cup is full.

Five wonderful months.

M.I.A. or A.W.O.L?

I'm here. Really I am. It just appears as though I have fallen off the face of the earth. Or maybe it doesn't cause there is no one out there to notice.

These days I feel really proud of myself when I spend 10 minutes reading and commenting on other people's blogs. It brings back fond memories. Of when I spent 2-3 eager HOURS a day reading and commenting on other people's blogs. And another joyous hour writing a few of my own. (Remember that? When we would write MORE THAN ONE BLOG POST A DAY?) How did we do it?? Why did we stop?

We stopped because there was life. Oh that. Life. Kids. Kids who need attention. Kids who don't want me to shout "Just a minute...I'm almost done with my post!" from the other room while I upload and edit the pictures that will go on the blog post I haven't even begun composing yet. And a husband. A husband who wants a meal when he gets home from a hard day's work. And a kiss. And a hello. A hello not wedge in between the third and fifth edit of my blog post. And then there's the laundry and the sweeping and the dishes to put away and the bathroom to scrub and the and the and the.

And then there was the baby...and, well, she trumped everything. 'Cause she just doesn't wait for me to sort through my reader, looking for the most neglected blogs to catch up on before I hug her and change her and make her a bottle.

And so, it appears, I am missing. But not lost. I'm out there somewhere, mentally composing clever, witty, interesting posts. With pictures. Perfectly framed pictures.

Anyway, I love and appreciate so much those real-friends and stranger-friends and virtual-friends who have continued to read my blog despite my becoming a super dooper LAME blogger.

I dream of the day when I will have the time (and will?) to get back to the good old blogging days. I'll have to go out and search for new bloggers to read me. Bloggers who don't have LIFE pulling at them from all directions. So let me know, you guys, when that's you--when your laundry and kids and husband are all done and loved and satisfied and paid-attention-to and everyone around you is begging you, please, to just sit down for a few hours and blog. OK?

I'll see you then.

(p.s. I'm not quitting blogging. I just realized it sounds like I am. No, I'm just making excuses for how much I suck. I will still be here, in a few days, continuing to write to a make-believe audience who hangs on my every word, don't worry.)

A Little Slice Of Heaven

Kids at school

Baby in Bed

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal cookies, warm

Milk, cold

Say Yes To The Dress" on DVR.


Ahhhh....27 minutes of heaven.



What does your slice of heaven made of?