A Few Of My Favorite Things

Usually I highlight thing that are unique, fun, time-saving, or otherwise really awesome for my Favorite Things posts. But today my favorite thing is going to be somewhat ordinary. Yet, I have to say, it is completely awesome too...





Yes, it's a fly swatter. It's something you take for granted until you really need it and then it just happens to be the best invention EVER.

When we lived at our old house, we didn't have many flies. We had one invasion of little brown ants in the spring. A little ant trap action and that was taken care of. And then this last summer we had an awful earwig infestation. EW. Earwigs might possibly be the grossest bug ever. Or at least they are up there with spiders and centipedes. And they were EVERYWHERE. They were eating my flower blossoms before they even bloomed. They were all over my garden. They were in and under and around every toy and tool and rock and crevice. They even made it into the house a couple of times!!! BARF!!! I have to say, that was one thing I was super glad to leave behind about my wonderful yard there.

And then we moved here. No earwigs! However, living nearby several farms and horse properties (you gotta love when they build neighborhoods into the middle of former farmland), there are flies galore. I wish I had some sort of special robot vision where I could hone in on all the flies buzzing around the house. I'm sure what my robot vision would show me is that every door and window of our house has a couple hundred flies hovering around it at all times. And that they are just waiting for the second that we open a door or window so they can come in and check out my kitchen scraps. I can hardly remember an hour since we moved in that there haven't been flies in the house. We have two fly swatters going at all times, it seems, as well as a fly strip hanging above the island. I get them under control for a little while, but then as soon as I open a door or window, a dozen more show up. It's maddening!

But the good news is, I've majorly honed my fly swatting skills. I almost never miss with the fly swatter. And yesterday I used my son's plastic wiffle ball bat to hit one on the ceiling. KABAM! Gotcha, sucka! First try. I'm telling you, they need to have an event at the State Fair for this or something. I can get a fly with a dish rag, a flip flop, a teddy bear (don't tell Beck), a check book, and a bath robe. But my favorite tool, the one with the most satisfaction and gut-squishing involved, is the fly swatter. God bless whoever invented that thing.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Yes, I got suckered into another As Seen On TV product. But the ad came in my Publishers Clearing House packet, so of course I had to order it. How else am I going to win a billion dollars???

Actually, though, this one really IS a winner...

The Bottle Top.

We drink a lot of pop around here. And mostly cans. Cans are cheaper. And smaller. And they fit in my cup holders better. But Big Daddy and I rarely finish a whole one in one sitting. We're not gluttons! Ok, he is. But I rarley finish a pop in one sitting. So then I put it in the fridge for later. And that leads to A) flat pop, B) spilled pop in the fridge, C) mad husband, and D) confused wife since mad husband is never the one made to clean it up.


Spilled, flat pop (and marital problems), meet the Bottle Top! Problem solved. Seriously. My husband hasn't been mad and I haven't been confused for months. All that in a little piece of colored plastic!

Might I suggest you get some yourself? And if you want me send in for them for you from my next Publishers Clearing House flyer packet I will. 'Cause I'm kind like that. (But I'm not sharing the billion dollars if I win. 'Cause I'm not kind like that .)

A Few of My Favorite Things

You know how sometimes you see commercials for things and you think,

"I really wish that would work. I really wish it would end all my troubles like it says it will. I really wish that product wouldn't entirely suck after I spend all my money on it. But something in me just says it's too good to be true."?

But then every once in a while a product comes out that actually does end your troubles? And it's a miracle? Like Diet Mountain Dew?

Well this is one for me...


Breathe Right Strips.

When I was pregnant, both times, I couldn't breathe. My nasal passages just closed up tight. Nothing in, nothing out. (The nothing out part wasn't so bad.) Nothing else I tried, which is very little when you're pregnant, worked. And eventually I just stopped sleeping. Lack of sleep is one of the worst things ever! It's worse than no carbs x 10! OK, maybe x 2. Let's not get carried away here. But still, night after night it wears on you. You feel like you want to die. You dread bedtime instead of looking forward to it. You are quite sure when you lie down to sleep at night that you will stop breathing altogether and orphan your children. So when I finally tried these Breathe Right Strips, assuming they'd be frauds like most other things you see on TV, and found that they worked brilliantly, it was a little miracle. Like Fat-free Greek yogurt. Only more chewy.

I still use them. Any time I get congested or sick or feel like reminiscing on the glory days of late pregnancy, I wear one to bed. And sweet dreams is my reward. Not a single orphaned child yet.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor child a scone. But when she got there, the cupboard was such a freaking mess with all the various pasta bags that she couldn't find them.




So she got an idea, and went to IKEA, and her cupboard lived happily ever after.





I seriously can't tell you how much I love having all my noodles in these clear, divided containers. No bags, everything is visible, organized, clean-looking. There is even a tall container for my fettuccine and spaghetti. And for half the price of these kind of containers anywhere else. I love IKEA! Plus, shopping in peace and quiet while your kids run amuck in their playland is the best idea ever. Viva Sweden!



Daily Weight Loss: .2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 4.2 lbs

A Few of My Favorite Things

There will be no end to the self-congratulatory sniggering when my mom finds out I'm blogging about this one, but here it is....

The Infamous Square Frying Pan




I think my mother was the one who first discovered the square frying pan, back when they were a very obscure item. And then she proceeded to give one to every person who got married for the next 40 years. Square frying pans don't wrap well, though, so usually she just wrapped the frying part and left the handle sticking out. This mortified us, of course. It looked so unprofessional. And we always wished, just once, we could give the bride and groom something nice, something that came in a box that you could wrap completely and tie a ribbon around (not a Christmas bow stuck to the outside).

But alas, now that I have kids I realize how incredible handy it is to have a pan that can cook 4 pancakes at once, 4 grilled cheese sandwiches at once, 8 slices of bacon at once, and six pork chops at once...all without them touching each other and sticking together or sliding towards the middle.

I'm sure all of those people who got a square frying pan at their wedding wondered what the heck they'd ever use it for. And I'm sure within a few years, all of them, like me, thanked their lucky stars a hundred times over for this super handy pan.

(Don't you hate it when your mother is right?)

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

This edition of My Favorite Things is dedicated to things that make my Christmas easier and/or way more awesome.

First, the Christmas tree light foot switch. I have always HATED, with a serious, burning passion, climbing under the tree or under the table or behind the furniture or over the radiator to reach the Christmas tree light socket, twice a day, every day from December 1st to January first in order to turn the Christmas tree lights on and off. Especially when we had a real tree. Sap on my back, needles in my eyes, hair wrapped around the tree bark....awful. So a few years ago I remembered seeing one of these gadgets at my sister's house. They are GENIUS. You only have to crawl under the tree to plug in the master switch once. All the Christmas tree lights plug into this master switch. And then a small, unabtrusive little tap switch comes out to the edge of the tree. I even keep mine under the tree skirt. It's illluminated so I can see where to tap my foot on it even under the tree skirt. Then when it's time to turn on or off the tree lights, no getting on my hands and knees. I just tap it with my foot and, voila! Let there be light!!


I tried really really hard to avoid the Christmas wrapping section of Costco for weeks. I knew if I set foot there, I was going to come out of that aisle $50 poorer. But eventually its siren song was too strong for me to resist. And, sure enough, I spent a pretty penny on new wrapping items. But as it turns out, these gems are both time savers, really good quality, and are certainly worth the price.

1) Scotch Pop-up Tape Dispenser. AWESOME. By far the most annoying part of wrapping presents is constantly having to stop and rip off pieces of tape. You lose your hold on the wrapping paper, the pieces bend over onto themselves, etc. But this nifty little dispenser sits on your wrist or back of your hand and easily dispenses perfect pieces of tape w/o you letting go with your other hand.


2) Thick, premium wrapping paper. Most kid packages these days are not perfect little squares or rectangles. They have exposed parts for you touch and poke and press and try out the toy. Or they they have those awful soft-plastic areas. so when you wrap them with cheap wrapping paper, they invariably break through long before Christmas. One false move and the child has ruined their whole surprise, weeks too soon. But Costco's premium paper is stiff and thick like butcher paper. It can stand up and walk, it's so thick. The kids won't be ripping through this stuff without a bowie knife, which hopefully you're not giving your kids for Christmas. Cause if you are, next year's presents are SCREWED. (And surprisingly, it's easier to wrap with because it stays in place when you fold it.) Available in sets of four, in various color schemes, or one big giant roll for $9.99.

3) Bows. Nice looking bows. Not the ones that come out of the bag looking like they had been stomped on by all of Santa's reindeer. I like bows that have a definite shape, are sparkley, shiney, and beautiful. And the Costco ones don't disappoint.

4) Premium, hand-made gift tags. I know the stick on rectangles are like a two-dollar whore-- cheap and easy-- but the ones made by six year old Malaysian kids are so much cuter! And more spacious--you can write the recipient's name SUPER LARGE if you want. And that just does it for me. I know, this one was a real splurge. But seeing these gorgeous tags on my packages makes me so much Christmahappier!



Ok, that does it for this edition of My Favorite Things. And remember, it's not too late to spend YOUR hard earned Christmas shopping money on tags and bows, too!

A Few Of My Favorite Things

If it has not been made clear to you thus far that I adore baked goods, you haven't been reading my blog nearly close enough. Shame on you. I suggest you go back to last January when I began blogging and read each post over again, much more thoroughly this time. You might want to take notes. Or... if you prefer to cheat yourself out of hours and hours AND HOURS of hilarious, thoughtful, sometimes bitchy posts, fine. Just take my word for it--I love baked goods.

I am also a bit of a baked goods snob. Like everyone who is a connoisseur of something--be it fine wines, Swiss watches, or incredibly bloody video games--you get to know what you like, what is quality and what is trash. And unfortunately, a lot of baked goods and pseudo-baked goods out there are trash. At the bottom of the scale is Hostess. Hostess was a dream come true to me as a snack-food-deprived child. But as a baked goods critic-of-sorts now, I wouldn't waste my time, let alone the calories, on something so base.

Store bought cakes come next. Some are good, some are not so good. The factory produced ones are usually pretty disappointing, while the in-store bakery ones can be pretty decent if you shop around.

Restaurants vary in their ability to make a good dessert. Some are excellent. Some so-so. Some not worth eating again even for the cherished sugar rush they produce.

Mostly the ones that I like best are homemade. Nothing beats the fresh ingredients and tender loving care of a homemade dessert (except perhaps the fresh ingredients and tender loving care of a French bakery dessert. But I digress...) And if you make it yourself, you get all the glory and appreciation for the fact that your cake tastes 1000x better than store-bought.

There's probably something else you have picked up on about me if you read my blog: I hate to be a follower. I'm not a train-jumper, a trend follower, a copy cat, or a craze-keeper-up-wither. Usually my policy is that I prefer to do anything that no one else I know is doing. Unless said trend is clearly, totally, 100% ME, in which case I'll avoid following the trend until it has almost become passé. Then, and only then, will I jump on the bandwagon-- pretty much just before the bandwagon breaks down. So it is with some level of chagrin that I admit to being a pretty shameless copy cat of my sister when it comes to baking. She just picked it up sooner and got better. So now I just have to set my pride to the side and learn from the expert.

Yes, in case you were wondering, I am finally going to arrive at the point of this post: My Favorite Things. This installment is Baking Strips. Are you completely let down? All that introduction and talk about sugary confections and I'm going to talk about baking strips? Well, you'll see why in just a second. First, let me explain what they are. Baking strips are little strips of cloth that you soak in water prior to baking layer cakes, then you wrap them around the cake pan. And then when the cake bakes, rather than getting a huge hump in the middle of it, it rises completely evenly, making it flat on top. Ever try to make those humped cakes into a layer cake? It's a nightmare. Not only is it virtually impossible to cut them flat on the top. But then you have to try to get the frosting to stick to them without picking up crumbs from the cut-off area. (Or else you have to flip them over and deal with the same issue on the bottom of the cakes). Baking strips are the magic cure to the cake hump. And they could not be easier to use.

Here, examine my proof:

See how nice and flat they are? And they still have that golden brown, firm skin on the top that makes frosting them so much eaiser.

Now you can see why I must bow down and worship the flour covered floor my sister bakes upon. Because without these little numbers, my cakes would be humpy. And while they'd probably still taste good, I'd miss out on all the oohs and ahs produced by a truly delicious AND ergonomically correct cake.

These Are a Few Of My Favorite Things...

Chocolate desserts are usually at the top of my list. The chocolate mouse tart at Flour Girls and Dough Boys is one of my favorite desserts ever. The warm chocolate cake (of the molten variety) at Sundance is sublime. Oreos are by far my favorite store-bought cookie. And French Silk pie has got to be at the very top of my pie list. but there is one dessert that is not chocolate that can actually rivel one in my book:

Crème Brûlée

If you haven't had this wonderful dessert, try it sometime. They have it at quite a few restaurants. It literally means "burnt creme.and is pronounced "krem broo-lay." At it's best, it is a thick, vanilla cream, firmer than pudding, stiff enough not to ooze when you cut into it. Sugar is sprinkled on the top, and then, just before serving, the sugar is heated with a special blow torch until it melts, browns, and becomes crispy. You haven't lived until you have experienced the pleasure of taking the back of a spoon and cracking it onto the crunchy burnt sugar shell on the top of a crème brûlée. Divine.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Here are some of my favorite inventions:






Actually, that kind wasn't that cool. Let's replace it with this one







I am not including this: Why on earth does THIS invention get top billing (as in, "The best thing since sliced bread")?? How hard is it to cut bread? Back in the old days were bread knives a rare commodity? Was their hand-eye coordination not very well developed? Did they have to take their bread to special slicing shops where people who had completed years of training could do it without lopping off a finger or making triangular shaped pieces? Maybe. But we've come a long way since then. We've really advanced our technology. Now I think it would make WAY more sense to say, "The best thing since toilet paper." Or "the best thing since garbage trucks." Or "the best thing since dental floss." But SLICED BREAD? Come on.

But I digress. My point to this post is to talk about my latest favorite invention (we've had it for a while, but this time of year, when all my shows start again, I'm especially amazed by it):



It is not an exaggeration IN THE SLIGHTEST to say that the DVR has revolutionaized my life. Sure, it's not related to cleaning up any bodily function, as most of my favorite inventions are (diapers, tampons, barf bags). But it allows me to watch all my favorite shows WHENEVER I WANT. AND....drumroll please...WITHOUT COMMERCIALS. Now THAT is a great invention. I can instantly tape every show I want to watch, two at a time now, watch one while another one is taping, or watch something different altogether, live, while my two other shows are taping. It's a miracle. The loaves and the fishes thing was cool, but I'm pretty sure those loaves were not sliced, so the DVR probably wins.

In fact, it's so impressive to me that I think I'm going to call for an official change of the sliced bread idiom. From now on, whenever something is a cool invention, I'm going to say, "Wow! That thing is a cool invention! It's the best thing since the DVR!"

I'm starting a verbal revolution.

WHO'S WITH ME?