Monday, August 16, 2010

R.I.P. Yellow Couch

Our old house, the Little Pink House from two centuries ago that we lived in until last week, was quirky. Quirky in a lot of really cool ways. Like the way that there were brick chimneys going up through the middle of several rooms. No fireplaces, just chimneys. And the way that the ceilings slanted in the upstairs bedrooms. And the way that the super steep, formerly-attic stairs split into a T at the top of the landing forcing you to either go left or right.

The downside of the quirkiness was that the chimneys caused you to have to arrange your furniture in an odd way. The slanted ceilings meant you couldn't put anything taller than 3 feet against the side walls. And the T at the top of the stairs meant you couldn't bring up any large furniture that wasn't as flexible as macaroni--it just wouldn't turn those corners.

A few years ago we got a couch. A friend that owed Big Daddy some money and had a Chinese importing business offered to pay him in couches. So we looked at the color swatches and ordered a beautiful soft butter yellow, microfiber sectional for our bonus room. It arrived a few weeks later. And as we opened it and tried to remove the school bus yellow packing around the couch, we realized that WAS the couch. So, not the color we'd planned. And then we realized the bigger problem: that T at the top of the stairs. A lot of lifting, twisting and maneuvering by strong and spatially gifted people managed to get all but one piece of the couch around that corner and into the bonus room. But the chaise longue part of the sectional would not budge, not with any amount of pushing, pulling, turning, or swearing. So finally, in desperation, Big Daddy removed the top two stairs (carpet and all) to get that stupid couch in. Then he rebuilt the stairs and recarpeted them. We decided that yellow couch would be staying with the house. We would not be moving it out again. The new owners of the future, whoever they would be, would inherit this couch, like it or not. Or that couch would have to come out in pieces.

Flash forward six years... the new soon-to-be owners of our house do not want our Chinese, school bus yellow sectional.


Ni how, old friend. Ni how.


Unknown said...

Who would not want that? !
Are you going to change the name of the blog? Im so envious of people who get to buy new houses!!

Bjorge Queen said...

Wow. That seems harsh.
I used to live in this great old orange house on 11th East between first and second south near the U.
I found a couch at DI and reupholstered it in denim and I have to say that it looked pretty sweet. I had a similarly difficult time getting that couch in the house. There were actually two staircases to my basement apartment- one in front and one in back. (I could have used the one in back to break honor code at LDSBC but I didn't. Use the stairs, I mean. I broke honor code by having my DH who was BF at the time use the regular stairs to enter my living quarters. The room was all he entered. Still, technically, it was in violation of honor code. The apearance of evil and such. I could have used the back stairs to get around my uptight roommate, but the back porch was covered and I do mean COVERED with box elder bugs at all times. But I digress...)
I loved that quirky house. LOVED it. I loved the low ceilings and the slanted walls and I even loved the orange brick. (I think it was the 70s during a time where it was common for a person to think: I have a great idea. Why don't I paint this natural brick?)
My walls were rock and barn wood. It was very quriky. No hanging pictures, but I loved the place. (Lots of spiders, btw)
I loved the two block walk to 7-11 to get a coke slurpee and I loved the neighborhood.
I <3 old houses. Not so much the upkeep. But they have a lot of charm.

Teachinfourth said...

That does seem harsh…

However, I could understand if it didn't fit their 'style.'

Financial Aid for College said...

Naturally I screamed to see that couch cut up. But that was only the recliner part, wasn't it? Couldn't you use the rest of it in some other room at your new house? It was VERY comfortable. And some poor people who couldn't even afford a couch at all would love to have come and picked up the useful pieces. Wouldn't they?
Boo Hoo!

Bjorge Queen said...

I'm with L.
I say get a hammer and some nails and one of those nice curvy upholstery needles (I know all about them because I recently finished my chairs which I will post to my blog soon) and just sew 'er right back up again. Add a nice yellow throw. Or maybe purple since it's opposite yellow on the color wheel (I learned about this on HGTV) and viola. Your couch is new again.
Anyway, this is what I would do had I not just spent the last three months of my life reupholstering crazy cat chairs that I found at a garage sale for $3 each.
As a Unitarian, I am required to believe that each person is of worth and I suppose that this principle could be extended toward furniture.

Mia said...

I think a little destruction is cathartic now and then. I hope you at least had fun chopping it in half.

Excellent Parent said...

i would of payed money for that couch!

rae said...

I would have paid money to do that to a couch! This post is great. My husband is soooooo jealous right now. (I showed him the picture.)

Omgirl said...

Well, photo freak, you would have had to come over and remove the carpet on the stairs yourself, remove the stairs themselves yourself, carry the couch down the narrow stairs yousrelf, recarpet the stairs, and reinstall them. Probably not worth it for a stained, ugly couch, huh?

Sara said...

That looks like something Kelly enjoyed maybe just a little!

alex dumas said...

Maybe it's just the picture, but it doesn't look school bus yellow. It's looks more butter yellow.