Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Oscars 2014 Fashion Wrap Up!

You know what time of year it is, right?  It's that time of year where I take a break from whatever other nonsense I'm usually blogging about for something TRULY important:  The Academy Awards Gowns!!

This year my overall comment from the Oscars was "Meh."  Truly!  With one exception, and I'm sure we all know who that is, there just wasn't much that stunned me, for good or for bad.  But here are a few of the ones I picked out that warranted any comment at all.

1)  As if it needed any explanation, the beautiful Nairobi blue Prada gown worn by Lupita Nyong'o was breathtaking.  Just breathtaking.  Elegant, soft, ethereal, perfect.  And her darling headband and gold earrings were just the right touch of warmth.  LOVED it.  

2) Cate Blanchette's dress truly enchanted me.  The sparkley bits, the cut, the fit....I enjoyed every minute of it.  

3) My next favorite was on Portia Di Rossi.  I just adored the interesting pattern and the unique neckline.  She looked statuesque in it. 

4) LOVED Penelope Cruz's pink and black gown.  I am pretty sure she's pregnant.  And if so, she definitely wins for best maternity gown.  And if not, WHOOPS!  But still a totally gorgeous gown (FYI, it makes you look pregnant, Penny!)

5) I really liked Amy Adams' navy blue gown with the little folds around the bodice and at the hip.  The color was so sedate, though, that she could have used some dramatic jewelry.  Not sure what those weird rust colored danglies she had on were!

6) I don't know who Olga Kurylenko is, but wow!  Her amazing dark pink satin gown with that amazing twist of fabric along the top was stunning!  I can't believe she didn't get more press for that.  Probably because no one else knows who she is either.

7) I loved the intricacy of Kristen Chenoweth's gold gown.  The color suited her so well and it was just so fun to look at.

8) Along the same lines, the architecture of Lady Gaga's gown was so fascinating.  But...what the heck was she doing at the Oscars??

9) Kelly Osborne gets a serious honorable mention (or is that honourable?) because this is the most amazing and classic I've ever seen her look.  Is this picture photoshopped?  Because, Wowza!!!

 10) Emma Watson gets my final nod for this category.  It didn't blow me away, but I really liked the unique cut and the black and silver together, and I thought she looked more grown up and sophisticated than she's ever looked before.

The Middle
Making up the largest group of dresses were a whole bunch of really unimpressive, blah, flesh-toned dresses: gold-ish, peach-ish, silver-ish, blush-ish, off-white-ish BORING.  So many that they just did nothing for me and deserve no mention.   

 Then there were a few others which were just OK.  These include:

1)  Gabourey Sidibe.  I loved the color.  I loved the fabric.  But I thought the cut was a bit safe.  I realize she's a big girl, but I feel like so often the bigger dresses get the same exact cut, year after year.  I wish she would risk something more daring.

2)  Sandra Bullock.  Didn't hate it, didn't love it.  Interesting in the front.  The dark color didn't do much for me.  

3) Charlize Theron.  She's amazingly beautiful.  But another stark, structured gown on the red carpet?  No big surprise.  

4)  Jennifer Garner.  I actually would have LOVED this dress in another color.  I'm so glad she did something unique like fringe, and the cut was absolutely perfect on her.  But once again, that same bland silvery flesh tone....it lost big points for me.

5) Jennifer Lawrence.  She is so incredibly beautiful!  And she has such a lovely curvy body.  This dress was just so underwhelming.

6) Anne Hathaway.   Ya, we've seen this dress before.  You wore it last year, only it was pink.  I'm not a fan of the big metal studs.  The pink version was better.  Time to pick a new shape, Girlfriend.

The Bad
It seems like every year there are a few dresses that horrify me.  This year I can only think of one that stands out as awful.   But there were quite a few that I thought were just the wrong choice.  And here they are.  

1)  Absolute WORST dressed was Liza Minelli.  Seriously, Liza?  You couldn't manage a skirt or dress.? OR BRA???  A lady of your considerable age and bosom needs a bra!  I hate to get all Joan Rivers on you, but those things hang lower than a....(you fill in the blank.)

2) Angelina Jolie.  What was she wearing??  Something she stole from the set of The Golden Girls??  It was just awful.  AWFUL!!

3)  The worst thing about Anna Kendrick's dress was that the back was really amazing.  But the front...what was that weird red fabric in the middle?  It look like her dress had torn in half and they grabbed a nearby curtain to sew the two pieces together.  And that leg... AWKWARD.  She obviously hadn't practiced how to do an Angelina-Jolie, so she kept moving that leg around, trying to find a good pose in the high slit.  She didn't.   So unfortunate.  

4)  There's a great way to show off a baby bump.  The Santa's Giant Beer Belly look is NOT it.   Maternity FAIL.  (LOVED the fabric and color, however.)

5) Julia, oh Julia.  Why?  This dress...can you say Barbara Bush?  It's so matronly, and that weird lace peplum and bodice insert...it just looks cheap.  The fit is off, the color is blah.  I hate everything about this dress!  And the hair....have you just given up?

6) Julie Delpy.  Oh sweetheart.  There is flattering, and there is not flattering.  And this dress, in every single way is NOT flattering.  I remember those hips.  I have had those fatty hips, Honey.  But you've got to learn to camouflage them!  Yuck.  

Well, that sums up my takes on the gowns of 2014.  What are your thoughts?


1 comment:

FairyGrandmother said...

I agreed with many of your takes, but I think Lupita's beautiful gown would have looked better if the front had joined about 6 inches higher! Why do super-skinny women think it is sexy to show the raw bones of their chests? Sternums covered with nothing but one layer of skin are better hidden, not exposed with every rib-joint sticking out. Skeletons, anyone?