The Super Stupidest Bird Ever

Today we went to the pool. And when we came home, we left the garage door open for a few minutes. After I got all the swim suits and towels hung out to dry, I came back to close the garage door. But there was a very scared-looking young Robin fluttering around the cieling of my garage. Mind you, the garage door--all 9 feet wide and 8 feet tall of it--was still wide open.

The bird settled on the top of the garage door nearest the ceiling. I pushed the button to make it start closing, hoping to dislodge Robin. She fluttered up to the ceiling again then over to the post above my car. And shat upon my car. DAGNABBIT.

So I opened the other garage door, the double door, hoping to give her an 8 foot high, 25 foot wide opening through which to fly. But the stupid thing fluttered around the ceiling some more, like a moth at a lightbulb, and flew into the open recycling bin. I was about to try to fish her out with a broom when Big Daddy said, Wait! He went over and softly closed the lid. Then he wheeled the whole bin out to the driveway, the smart man. He gently opened the lid again, and there was Robin, sitting on some old boxes and newspapers, panting and looking very distressed. I got the broom and tried to encourage Robin to fly away, but she just fluttered around some more and burrowed deeper down into the bin. Big Daddy went in and closed the nearest garage door so she wouldn't fly back in, while I reached down into the bin and carefully closed my hands around Robin's trembling body. I held my hands up towards the sun in the picturesque way you always see in the movies and released Robin to flight with a gentle upward thrust.....and she flew right back into the garage through the other garage door.

Stupid, stupid bird.

Daphne said, "Maybe we can keep it, Mom!" To which I said, "If we're going to adopt a bird, it isn't going to be the world's stupidest bird."

 Where she is now, no one knows. Somewhere amongst the camping chairs and fishing tackle high on a garage shelf. And there she will probably stay until she grows the braincells to fly out the GIANT OPEN GARAGE DOOR OPENING.

 STUPID BIRD!!